Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend...

By doesnttastegood - 01/02/2010 10:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 625

You deserved it 13 956

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Same thing different taste

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 367

You deserved it 5 244

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 07:18 - Canada

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 343

You deserved it 13 293

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 05:22 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 035

You deserved it 8 599

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 591

You deserved it 15 227

By jinxofsocal - 21/06/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 387

You deserved it 27 531

Manchild

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 05:00

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 287

Halitosis

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 275

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 047

You deserved it 897

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 868

You deserved it 37 444

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 124

You deserved it 6 794

Masochistic 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:08

What kind of twisted ritual is that? What compelled him to think that up?

skyeyez9 24

Monday 1 February 2010 16:16

drink lots of prune juice, then fart in his mouth when he's in a deep sleep.

Comments

sanitye 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 2:53

that's disgusting I would have slaped him to his sences lol eww

amb_787 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 3:06

wtf is wrong with him dump his ass and slap him in the face

qwertymf5 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 3:16

****** UP unless it was COD

Jonathenp 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 3:24

garuntee it was MW2

Sinisin2010 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 5:52

There is no doubt in my mind it was MW2!! It'll drive a man to do wild and crazy things!

twisteddane 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 3:36

OMG, that guy needs help, that is seriously one the most disturbing things I've ever heard!:P

Jenmaree 9

Tuesday 2 February 2010 3:56

Oh my god. Dump him NOW.

Kirlyfoo 9

Tuesday 2 February 2010 3:57

u bitch u no u liked it he just a bored dude lukin fur fun get off his ass he sounds cool to me

hiix0x0 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 3:58

wow

foxhuntr 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 4:21

that's disgusting! I would get rid of him if I were u!! :(

monkey314159 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 4:22

...the ****

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had to watch as the girl I love got her heart stomped to pieces once again. She had turned me down because apparently I’m not “her type”. She doesn’t understand that I will worship the ground she walks on, and give her the world and more. Her type must be abusers and cheaters then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 858

Today, I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back, the only positive comment on the paper was, "Well, I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 884

You deserved it 5 250

The Top

Today, I sang the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song with a class of thirty 20-somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 291

You deserved it 26 873

Today, at work, I fainted and hit my head. When I told my boyfriend, he said, “Why does it matter?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 224

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 402

You deserved it 306

Today, I replaced the fog lights on my car and completely filled my gas tank. $50+ later, the transmission decided it wanted to go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 95

Today, I miss the days when I was younger and my parents used to at least try to hide all the sex they were having. Now I’m all grown up, they just yell out not to come upstairs for at least 30 minutes, and they no longer even attempt to keep the noise down either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 487

Today, under the Northern Lights of the Arctic Circle, I presented my girlfriend with an engagement ring and asked her if she would become my wife. She said, "I can’t, I have mittens." FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 91