Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend...

By doesnttastegood - 01/02/2010 10:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 625

You deserved it 13 956

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Same thing different taste

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 366

You deserved it 5 242

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 07:18 - Canada

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 343

You deserved it 13 293

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 05:22 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 035

You deserved it 8 599

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 587

You deserved it 15 226

By jinxofsocal - 21/06/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 387

You deserved it 27 530

Manchild

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 05:00

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 287

Halitosis

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 275

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 047

You deserved it 897

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 868

You deserved it 37 444

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 124

You deserved it 6 794

Masochistic 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:08

What kind of twisted ritual is that? What compelled him to think that up?

skyeyez9 24

Monday 1 February 2010 16:16

drink lots of prune juice, then fart in his mouth when he's in a deep sleep.

Comments

Bertha5 0

Monday 1 February 2010 22:56

ahhaha! wtff?! iep.

RainbowPoof 2

Monday 1 February 2010 23:04

FYL. That's disgusting. Wait until he's asleep, then grab his Xbox and beat him with it a few times. >:D

vrock 0

Monday 1 February 2010 23:17

HOW does the op deserve this? comon people!

puga29 0

Monday 1 February 2010 23:28

That is SOOOOO ****** up. FYL

hellokimmiee 5

Monday 1 February 2010 23:31

what the ****? LOL

Jumpman14 0

Monday 1 February 2010 23:32

how many achievements did he unlock? haha

Styna_fml 0

Monday 1 February 2010 23:41

wth? I hope you punched him in the nuts or something to show him how much you appreciated it.

viisiionsz 0

Monday 1 February 2010 23:44

lmao. your boyfriend wins at life

killswitch307 0

Monday 1 February 2010 23:44

Can I shake his hand?

acinom 3

Monday 1 February 2010 23:46

WTF I would break up with him, he must not like you to much if he's putting his pubes in your mouth while you sleep.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Weird Parents Health Scary Stressed out Embarrassing Transportation Cars Work First Dates Love My ex LGBTQIA+ Social Media Facebook Virginity Sex Intimacy Painful School Tinder Awkward Dating Jealousy Coworkers AITA Anxiety

The Top

Today, I needed emergency work on my house, so I’ve been taking wine, beer, and chocolates to my neighbours as an apology for the noise and dust. Later, one of the husbands came round and punched me for showing him up, because he hasn’t given his wife chocolates in years, so she’s mad at him and he blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 95

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 580

You deserved it 66 655

The Top

Today, my flute broke. I have an exam coming tomorrow and all repair shops are closed. I guess I’ll have to lose £150. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 169

Today, an Asian man approached me and called me pretty. I thanked him and he asked if I'm Chinese. When I said, "No, I'm Taiwanese" he promptly spat in my face and called me a "traitor to the motherland." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 138

You deserved it 524

Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 081

You deserved it 4 549

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 045

You deserved it 8 332

Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 603

You deserved it 41 627

Today, I sent an email to a girl I like about how I really feel about her. She later replied "Real funny, tell Michael to change his password!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 141

You deserved it 4 637