Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I tutored a kid for two hours, for $25 an hour. When it came time for them to pay, my mother told the kid's parents that they could give me ten bucks for the whole thing. She does this a lot. FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML
Today, I found out that the money my husband and I gave to my son for university courses, has instead been spent on pole dancing lessons. FML
Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
Today, I found out my son was never accepted into the local university two years ago. He actually went out and got a job, and only lied about it so he could keep living in my house rent-free. The conniving bastard makes more than I do at my minimum-wage job. FML
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Top comments
Giants_rule 0
Damn thats smart on your sons part. $20 an hour to bang his gf.
jasmine1259 2
how did you not figure that out?
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Comments (156)
Erindub 0
Ha ha you're the one who needs a tutor!
godhelpme92 0
Clever guy
andlifesuxagain 0
So you found out your son is a genius, and will make a great salesperson sux dude
beethoven_fml 0
Lmao win
ConSeannery 0
hahahah. He seems pretty damn smart, I don't think he needs a tutor.
_20jre 0
Damn, paying $20 for banging his gf, what a genius!
BunnyDrastic 0
Ur a ****** pimp
Ninjaface 0
Look on the bright side. Since the girl is technically a prostitute in this situation, you can hang it over both their heads for at least a few years. All the extra chores you'll be able to get him to do that way will at least cover your costs.
murdur1 0
Your son is ******* SLICK. And you got ******* OWNED.
EternalRequiem 0
A parent that knows FML but can't figure out simple tricks nowadays? O.o...Wow... Shouldnt you go to like parenting classes or something instead of complaining on FML?