Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I had to follow a pony that had flatulent, severe diarrhoea for an hour in order to collect enough liquid for a sample. FML
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML
Today, I dissected a baby pig. All I could think about was Wilber from Charlotte's Web. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
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Top comments
Mysanitywins 10
You can't see the OP's name? Derp
ImaWiseGuy 5
I guess that's how you rectify a situation...literally...
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Comments (306)
bonnie_vb8 5
i have a guinea pig and that seems to happen to them quite often:(
fionaes 3
that's why I decided I didn't want adaughter guinea pig cuz that's common as they get older and its typically the reason they die cuz most owners don't know that
KickItHigh 32
It's not you're cleaning out a human...
KickItHigh 32
not like*** AGH.
ghostland 0
I love my dog, it's not a guinea pig, but I know how hard it would be to put any pet down. I got my dog at a shelter when he was 5 months and he was all beaten, cut up and underweight. now he is 2 years and a great dog, he is very protective of me though. but he's my baby and I couldn't even think about something happening to him or having to put him down. I'm sorry op, I hope it gets better
mismonroe 0
i ******* love your picture. Just bought all the seasons
13tilleya 0
looks like it's time to go the way of old yeller
Random59 1
Shoot it
sushdrag 0
awww tak cre of d poor baby...... bt no wonder, ur life sucks...!
skyeyez9 25
My dog had a constantly infected anal glad and no antibiotics were working, so we took her to the vet to have it surgically removed. Until it healed, I had to wipe her ass after every poop. Keep her next to me 24/7 to make sure she didnt chew her stitches out. The "cone of shame" didnt work and she could still reach the stitches. So I had her leash looped onto my belt to keep her close. Pets can be a pain, but I love her and promised myself I'd care for her when I first got her.
metalhead5564 0
Good on you :)
gptrash420 0
shoot the damn thing?
RyanMacVey 17
why the fml? ... sounds like a good time to me (;