Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I had to follow a pony that had flatulent, severe diarrhoea for an hour in order to collect enough liquid for a sample. FML
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML
Today, I dissected a baby pig. All I could think about was Wilber from Charlotte's Web. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
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Top comments
Mysanitywins 10
You can't see the OP's name? Derp
ImaWiseGuy 5
I guess that's how you rectify a situation...literally...
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Comments (306)
replik_fml 3
tbh serves you well for having a pet pig. couldn't you get a dog or a cat like normal ppl?
InsanishDanish 10
GUINEA pig. >_>
Attica 20
Ah, the common question: unskilled trolling attempt, or idiocy?
born12l8 0
Not worth it for a rodent with no purpose
AaliyahMorgan143 5
I have 2 guinea pigs:) they're adorable:D but ew. Sorry yo :/
jpqm32 3
Shoot it more fun
nco1414 7
Kill it..
rere89 2
my guinea pig suffered with this as he was 8 when he died and was informed by the vet its very common in ageing male guinea pigs but if u love him so much u will suck it up and clean his ass like many other owners have to do
FlickWaffle 30
my guinea pig has the same thing. he's 8 years old and every night for about 2 years now I have to clean out his butt. just make sure you have gloves and loo paper :)
lolzatyourprobz 12
Oh come on just let Darwin take care of it.
zach76 5
just kill it or something
Cavsfodawin 21
It is just a guinea pig. They usually only live at the most 5-7 years.