Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

Today, I discovered my sister has a crystal meth problem when she set fire to our house. FML

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

Twisted firestarter

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

Today, I found out my 10 year-old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including a £600 guitar. FML

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

Today, my mom was more upset about my 67 on an Algebra test than my sister almost setting the house on fire. FML

Pyrotechnics

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

Badass over here

Today, my sister burned herself on purpose with a curling iron. Why? She thought it would be cool to have a scar that "tells a story." My sister is 22. FML

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML