By catfan - 30/10/2013 05:48 - United States - Wildomar

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 578
You deserved it 7 789

catfan tells us more.

catfan 4

Hi this is OP. First off, my daughter is not pregnant. She has been going to school sex ed classes since she was 11, apparently they don't explain how someone gets pregnant in enough detail. She told me she's a virgin, though she thought she wasn't because she was "having sex" with the showerhead. Apparently one of her friends had told her masturbation counts as sex.

Top comments

thatgirlkat 9

That tells you what she's doing in the shower.


I never could figure out if it was the birds on top, or the bees... Either way, someone's not getting satisfied

More like time to explain that she didn't come from a stork...

I'm wondering if maybe she did teach her about the "birds and the bees". My friend called me in hysterics when we were in our junior year of high school because the condom broke... She's a lesbian. Her girlfriend put a condom on their toy to make it easier to use. I know her mom taught her about sex because she told me about it. She was just that dumb.

I never got “the talk" and I figured most stuff out just fine. I do have access to the internet and enough reasoning skill to sort out the bs after all.

I'm gonna call a YDI on this one, it's not easy to raise someone that dumb, and if she's 13, the talk is overdue

Can't reason with stupid though. So maybe OP isn't at fault?

can we get to the fact that a 13 year old is PREGNANT?

XIceBlueX 21

Learn to read. She's not pregnant. She's a kid and thinks a shower head can get her pregnant.

"Thinks the showerhead got her pregnant." That could be interpreted as her being pregnant but she believes it was the showerhead and not sexual intercourse that caused it. That's certainly how I interpreted it. Need OP to clarify if the daughter is pregnant or not.

Im pretty sure she is pregnant and is trying to blame the shower head because she doesn't want to tell her mum she had sex

41 - Did she actually think she would get pregnant from the ***** or was she was worried about STDs? If you share toys it's basically the same as having unprotected sex, so it makes sense to put a condom on them if you don't know what the other person has.

174- we don't know whether she's actually pregnant... There's no way to tell from the FML. It could be that she's pregnant and either believes it was the shower or just doesn't want to admit to her mom that she had sex, or it could be that for whatever reason she just thinks the shower got her pregnant but she isn't actually pregnant because that would be impossible. Either way, that is a very stupid teenager.

Unless some one cumed on the shower head and she then masturbated with it

Its YDI to OP, either her 13 year old kid is unsupervised enough to get pregnant, and dumb enough to think OP would believe she isn't having intercourse. Or OP raised a total idiot drama queen who thinks she's pregnant and that the shower head did it. Either way OP is mostly to blame since the idiot is 13 years old. . . completely stupid regardless of which one is true!

I think it's way beyond the sex talk at this point, I'm just hoping she wasn't serious!!

I agree. Time for the old sex talk.

thatgirlkat 9

That tells you what she's doing in the shower.

RedPillSucks 31

if I could only beat you both with a stick...

RedPillSucks 31

You can beat me with a shower head. I hear it gives good oral.

why is this buried? It's a damn funny comment.

The shower is fine. It just smells a little funny is all.

Maybe people didn't realise I meant shower head... Puns are not every person's cup of tea.

I dont want to smell like a pond thank you very much :)

Sex Ed is taught freshman year of highschool, she'll learn

I learned it from my friend's mags when I was like 6....

Why should sex Ed be the one teaching her these things. By 13 her mother should have at least taught her enough to know a shower can't get you pregnant.

It should really be taught much much earlier than that.

how about an online course for them when they're born?

Sex ed is taught in grades 5th-7th where I'm from

She's already pregnant. That might be kinda late to find out.

My school teaches it from grades 4-9 Grade 4 is all about puberty and it goes from there

I was taught “sex ed" in 6th grade, but it was just about puberty. In high school we had to take health and all the ever talked about was STDs, pregnancy, and abstinence. I remember explaining in senior year to 2 girls that they don't pee from their vaginas.

i was taught in 5th grade, but i knew about it in 3rd, i was a very curious child. my mother didny want to tell me, but i didnt give up so easily

My high school doesn't even teach sex ed anymore.

I'm a freshmen and I didn't have it in middle school and I haven't had any in highschool

I was taught about pubety in 5th grade. I started figuring out everything about sex in 4th, due to the internet, no thanks to the school. In 6th-8th grade, health class was optional. It came with gym. But gym was optional, so health was also. So basically your parents better be giving you the talk, or find out on your own.

I missed the week of sex Ed my 7th grade year. It didn't matter much though because my mom had already begun talking to me about puberty when I was 10-11 then around 12-13 about sex and everything that can happen because of it. I'm 16 now and she still has talks with me about it a couple times a year.

kyu_Q 19

That's good parenting. Some girls start having their period as early as 8 or 9. so at least they should be taught about puberty by then. keeping children in the dark about their bodies and sex has resulted in a lot of early pregnancies. And in some places like New York for example 8 and 9 year olds are already having sex. patents should not wait for schools to do sex ed. personally I will be the one telling my children about sex and the dangers. Then I will know for sure they at least have some base knowledge and can't be tricked it doing stuff too easily

Our sex ed started in the 5th grade. I was never allowed to go and yet i didnt grow up this stupid.

Regardless when sex ed is taught, a 13-year-old should really know that a shower cannot cause pregnancy.

She isn't pregnant! Do you not know how to read?

sioux4 17

More like briefly in 4th grade then 5th grade. Verily lightly in 6,8 & 9.

Sex Ed was never taught to my mother and I. Weird, huh? Not everyone gets taught it, and this might be the case.

My mum told me when I was 7 because I said "What is sex?"

The baby is going to be born with 6 spray settings.

gemstone586 12

They're all born with 6 spray settings. Lol

The_Big_Boss 20

I'll be sure to catch you on Teen Mom

Shouldnt you have explained sex before 13?

My mom started talking to me about a few weeks before I turned 12 and had my first blood bath.

Umm my mum told me about periods when i freaked out and thought i was dying at 12. I have never had sex talk.. I found out in school science lesson when i was 14/15. Its not in our culture to go around having sex with everyone to know what it is and to use condoms.

It doesn't have to be somebody's culture to "go around and have sex" to have people be educated about sex before it's too late.

AntiPrude 26

@148 wow, are you serious? 1, 14 is a very late, and inadequate age to know the basic principles of reproduction, and I would assume you were socially impaired to not have found out from your peers, and furthermore you should of learnt it in health class (rather than science class), along with info on STDS, contraception, etc, because if seriously only know the scientific terminology and processes, then you are a well set up for a life of virginity. And 2, your statement about our culture, if you do indeed live in Western Society, that it is not our culture to go out and have sex with people, is completely erroneous and stupid, and also quite apparently ignorant and uninformed, because considering our society's principles of personal rights, freedoms, and liberty, we love to go around and have sex, and we have sex for recreation and expressing intimacy hundreds and thousands of times more than we ever do for procreation. If you are looking for a culture where people are made to be ashamed of sex, then may I suggest you go to Saudi Arabia, you will fit in nicely.

Well, 254, not all of us had those "close" friends that pretended to know what sex was. Maybe some of us really didn't make it a priority. Maybe our friends were just as much in the dark as we were. Heck, when I turned 13 and got my first period, I didn't know what was happening to me. Luckily, my mom was home at the time and explained it to me, so I wasn't in the dark as far as the reproductive system. Until college, it was just an awkward concept that I never really grasped.

AntiPrude 26

@273 You didn't know about sex until college?!! ARE YOU ******* KIDDING ME???

I'm someone who thinks sex ed should be taught early enough, I don't really think it has to be the parents but someone. You know if you don't tell them they find out by themselves either by getting pregnant(the bad case) or by watching ****(the good case). HOWEVER I am also someone who was taught a little too early and a little too... openly. By my mom, at the age of 4. Let's just say it wasn't just "talk" it was also "show". To make it short: I'm pretty traumatized from it, absolutely unable to look at/live in the same house with my mom today and as a result forced to move out because my parents just don't understand. FML. This is why I actually agree with some parents who refuse to teach their children too young and I loath people who are like "Oh the earlier the better bla bla and show them too bla bla". Advice to parents: If you know how to, tell your child yourself. If you don't, better let a professional (school or whatever) do it.

TheSofaKing 7

And now she is going to raise a child.