Health: Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his...

By KJL - 29/08/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 772

You deserved it 3 865

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 903

You deserved it 6 510

By anonymous - 20/03/2012 22:33 - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 330

You deserved it 4 011

It sort of is

By AMP4U - 31/08/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 223

You deserved it 7 461

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 596

You deserved it 5 192

By woundedexwife - 16/01/2010 01:22 - United States

Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 948

You deserved it 2 834

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 270

You deserved it 4 006

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 948

You deserved it 6 829

By Phoebe - 18/07/2009 08:15 - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 829

You deserved it 4 154

Skidmarks

By smelly asses - 17/09/2020 07:50

Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 191

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 17:01 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 359

You deserved it 3 110

Johnothan 0

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

That's hilarious. He's winning

Ads11 10

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

*Twilight Zone Tune*

Comments

iluvneon 0

Monday 29 August 2011 18:53

I would of just left the room haha at least he doesn't talk to the cat or dog about how it needs to get a job

yomommma 6

Tuesday 30 August 2011 2:09

Why are you talking about cats foo?

Ashelizabethh 8

Tuesday 30 August 2011 4:35

Thank you for making this worth reading lol.

amayalives4music 1

Monday 29 August 2011 18:55

Totally something my brother would do...

amayalives4music 1

Monday 29 August 2011 18:55

Totally something my brother would do... It's funny though :D lol

perdix 29

Monday 29 August 2011 18:57

They are, but he's barking up the wrong tree learning Morse Code. He needs to call in the Ass Whisperer to translate what his farts are saying.

freddyisepic 2

Tuesday 30 August 2011 1:00

lol

xckylexc 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:34

True

HomeAl0ne 20

Wednesday 31 August 2011 7:13

Right now they are saying "come closer, come closer" but it's a trap!

seeb49 7

Monday 29 August 2011 18:57

Totally something my brother would do...

Kendall_Cali97 8

Monday 29 August 2011 18:58

Haha! Win!

ZeroIce 12

Monday 29 August 2011 18:58

what are they saying?!?

creedaddict 9

Monday 29 August 2011 18:59

Well is it!?!?

tonydizzle 0

Monday 29 August 2011 19:02

He obviously seen a beautiful mind lol

picklezz123 5

Monday 29 August 2011 19:03

It's possible

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The Top

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 84

Today, my fiancée's ex sent me screenshots of their conversation. In it, he told her how badly he’d wanted to marry her, what a great life he'd have given her, and what a huge mistake she'd made by letting him get away. My ring, our house even our pets should’ve been hers. Gee, thanks for settling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 783

You deserved it 6 683

Today, as a high school English teacher, I had to read submissions for a writing contest. The entries were filled with words like "irregardless", "could of", "acrost", and "ain't". These papers were supposedly written by the best students in the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 287

You deserved it 798

Today, I was at orientation for my new job. There were only 6 other people in the training. Throughout the whole entire training, I kept smelling cat piss and moved further away from the other person, only to later get in my car and realize my cat had peed in my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 705

You deserved it 2 397

I must admit, sometimes I am the coworker...

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 90

Today, I was fired from my new job before my first paycheck for taking 2 days off. I took 2 days off because my father got drunk and totaled my car, leaving me with no transportation, a hospitalized dad, property damage, and no money to pay for it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 487

You deserved it 500

Today, I decided to do something nice and compliment a stranger. I told a girl that I liked her skirt and that it looked good on her. She just rolled her eyes at me and said, "I'm not gay". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 317

You deserved it 546