Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, despite the fact that I live with my parents and pay rent, my mom decided the best spot for my brother, his wife and one-year-old son was my bedroom. So I'm sleeping on the couch, because it would, "take too long to clean her room." FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Family matters
Today, in response to the guy whose son told him to fuck off for disturbing his one day off a week, my son spent literally his entire savings account for a deposit on a shitbox one bedroom house because he’s sick of his dad finding him things to do every ten minutes, and I don’t even blame him. FML
Wild child
Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
Big baby
Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML
Squatters' rights
Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML
Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Top comments
skippydoda 32
I like the entrepreneurial spirit! Business mind like that, he'll go places.
feven 32
Why would a person accept an offer from a 15 year old anyway
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Comments (81)
tchopper1969 16
you as a parent didn't notice a stranger in your house carrying shit? bravo parenting right there. tell him to get a job
SilverInGray 25
He wasn't in the house yet.
kaiboi702 16
I would take a share of that pay.
kingkobrastrikes 13
as dumb as it is to let a stranger into the house, especially without your permission, at least he is taking some kind of initiative to not spend your money for the rest of his life.
bigdog80 10
now that's a smart child
ezrajab 22
Omg this is too funny!
apaul982 14
Aaah Craigslist....where anything can happen
DeadHorseman 11
i can't believe some of you guys are seriously praising this kid. idiots everywhere
Hash13 13
I think you have a resourceful kid. If only this motivation and brashness is pointed or made to focus in more useful ways, in the right direction.
Dean__Winchester 16
Guess you'll have to make double the food portions to feed all the mouths?
AiyannaG 9
He probably lied about his age