Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
Today, after a five day bout of severe chronic constipation, I decided to get some orange juice and increase my water intake. The good news is that I'm no longer constipated. The bad news is that I've got diarrhea now. FML
Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML
Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML
Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
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Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML
Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML
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Top comments
HippoCampus 7
Tell your toilet to quit being so full of shit!
miserypoison 13
0-1 Toilet wins.
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Comments (217)
YouBetterGit 0
Shit happens!
hmugsy 3
look on the bright side :) go get a plummer.
Constantlyfucked 1
Lmao been there! FML lol
nyoungwv 0
plunger???
ItzKymra 0
The toilet gained two pounds(:
farrell011 1
Nice but quite silly but I have some good time on this website nice to be here. try to read some more blogs here. videonetbox dallmeier dallmeier
skyttlz 32
Use a plunger
subwoofa 0
Well, looks like your chit out of luck. HAHAHAHA!!
balviet123 2
Constipated for two days? And It was 2 pounds? Even if this is true, I'd like to say that you are EXTREMELY lucky. People are hospitalized because of stuff like this. If it were 2 pounds, you could have had that much backed up in your large intestine to cause an eruption and explosion of said organ. Meaning you would be poisoned by your lack of bowel movement. 2 pounds doesn't happen in 2 day. YDI for not taking care of yourself.
LissaMccracken 23
I laughed so hard!!!