Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
Today, after a five day bout of severe chronic constipation, I decided to get some orange juice and increase my water intake. The good news is that I'm no longer constipated. The bad news is that I've got diarrhea now. FML
Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML
Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML
Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, after months of grueling hard work, I'd finally gained five pounds. Too bad I lost it all and then some, due to one good stomach flu. FML
Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML
Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML
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Top comments
HippoCampus 7
Tell your toilet to quit being so full of shit!
miserypoison 13
0-1 Toilet wins.
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Comments (217)
burpfio 0
hahah touche....but we R in 2011....theres also some other stuff better than plungers.....but if u wanna go the cheap way...then dats the way to go..
randomfightfan 0
so? plunge it
rileynautumn 0
ever heard of a courtesy flush? it's courtous to the toilet if you flush before you fill up the damn thing. but really? only 2 days?
maz_irken 6
sounds like a...shitty situation ;)
darkchocolate778 0
it still doesn't weigh more than Bono
visualaesthetics 7
156, using your logic, since you're stuck on the weight part of OP's post... You're fat. Jus'sayin.
bobla456 0
Blame it on the cat
yasssx3 6
Are you really this bitchy? Or are you making a special effort today? wouldn't you be happy if you lost two pounds? even if your concerned about your weight or not. You sound ignorant and noone said the op was fat, your the one that brought it up. So just, stop. lmfaoo, opinions are like assholes, usually full of shit ;]
iammeat 0
Get a coat hanger and break that bad boy up!
polkadotsocks 11
use a plunger and/or a toilet snake and de-clog the toilet. and if you feel the rumblings like it's never going to stop, give the toilet itself a curtesy and flush it partway through!!