Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML
Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML
Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML
Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML
Today, I finally confronted my father about how rude and tactless he is. It wasn't until I'd finished my rant that I realized he was ignoring me. He then told me to get him something to drink. I replied, "Since you asked so rudely, you can go get it yourself." As soon as I'd said that, he grunted and repeated himself. FML
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Top comments
SoylentCandycorn 10
Grade A Parenting. Remember this day when you choose his nursing home.
StalkerChick 13
Well, go get ******. In his bed.
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Comments (172)
OhAidan 7
You've been hit by... A smooth criminal.
ICastillo 25
Well "get ******" by pissing in your dads shoes or throwing trash on his bed or even light the mother ******* lawn on fire. I'm just saying your dad is an ass for pulling crap like that.
iarefatal 9
Too far? Nahhh slash a tire or two while you're at it.
every1luvsboners 11
He's just building character and trying to get a reaction out of you. You failed. Go find a job, then go **** yourself, ****-ferret-bastard.
the_enigma1019 1
Ask him what he thinks life will be like in 30 years... Then slip him a brochure to the shittiest retirement home you can find. Maybe he'll be a bit nicer then.
Epikouros 32
Brochures usually aren't very honest. For this purpose, someone should make a special brochure for "Charles Manson's Kennel for the Elderly."
ILoveZombieBoys 13
Unfair dad is unfair :/
KingCeltic77 18
My dad does that too. Your not alone OP.
every1luvsboners 11
I don't think the OP name is "not alone." I could be wrong though. Good day, madam.
CharresBarkrey 16
25 - if that was a grammar Nazi attempt, you failed miserably.
MrPlopper 9
32- How long have you been here? No one ***** with every1luvsboners!
Warden1986 16
And the asshole of the year award, goes to your dad!!
biglittlehead 12
**** bitches. Get money.
norotors 16
At least it's still warm enough to mow where you are. I'd love to be doing that now, instead of freezing.
lionandthelamb61 9
The grass is always greener ( get it? Get it?), or in my case, the snow is always deeper since I live in Texas and would do anything for a blizzard or two instead of sweating through 70 and 80 degree days in early December.
fudgeimout 2
Go tell your mom, your dad's being mean. Maybe she'll punish him and he won't "get ******" for awhile.
CuriousAlien 7
No offense, but how do you know that OP has a mom? Don't make assumptions.
fudgeimout 2
Thanks, for your input.