By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 05:18 - United States
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Agreed. How long has this been going on that you just now realised this? And how old are you? If you are a full-fledged grown-up and are not actually responsible for her care, you need to stop bankrolling her. You could also try calling her up and chatting when she isn't out for money.
my father is just the same. what a waste. I feel your frustration. He wasn't there for me as a kid/teen/adult. and preferred the stupid women he was with over his kids. and now he whines that he doesn't understand why we are resentful and want nothing to do with him. Karma
Agreed with #1. As hard as it is, you are only enabling her. If you feel really bad, you can lend her the money this time, and then let her know that you can't keep lending her money and that this is the last time. It gives advance warning, so that you don't have to feel bad the next time she calls. The next time, you just say, "I already told you I couldn't give you any more money." The line was already drawn, so she wont be surprised.
Haha, #35: I totally understand that one! My dad used to forgo picking us up because his gf/wife/whatever wanted a weekend alone. That, or his band had a gig. He only had us every other weekend, so it's not like it was a lot. When he did decide to try and make up for it, he did it with my younger brother (from his second wife). He seriously picked him up every Tuesday and almost every weekend. Later, he tried to make up for it with my sister who would tell him he was a deadbeat dad or a sperm donor. Never the me. I was the daughter who understood his flaws, but loved him despite them. He actually told me once, "Well, with you, I know you love me. With your sister, I can't be sure." Now, he just doesn't try much because I remind him too much of my mother, lol.
it's not always that easy. it's easy to say and think that but they're ur parent and they're really good w guilt and all kinds of other ways to make u pay. ie: they could say they were gonna kill themselves or do something drastic like that. :/ idk I personally think it's sad when a parent does that it's not mvery mature.
When you weere younger you needed to be fed, clothed and nurtured... give the woman a break!
That is a point, however, isn't it the responsibility of the parent who decided to have the child to meet those -basic- needs? Last time I checked, babies don't ask to be born. While it is nice to assist a parent, a child has no obligation to 'pay back' their parents for meeting the basic needs that need to be fulfilled in order to survive. The parent has a legal obligation to provide, not the other way around. The FML also doesn't state what the mother wants money for. It could be for drugs. In closing, FYL indeed, OP.
Cut her off. End of story. Although I do realize how difficult that is gonna be:/