Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I went to a yoga class for the first time in a few years. When I went to change afterwards, I realized I'd split my pants at some point during the class. I think I understand why the girls behind me were laughing so hard now. FML
Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML
Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML
Today, I decided to push myself and go to a morning yoga class, despite suffering from horrible insomnia for the past few nights. During child’s pose, I fell dead asleep on my mat and only woke up because I ripped a comedically loud fart and startled myself. FML
Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML
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Top comments
Mandy_fml 0
Haha, that's hilarious! Sucks to be you.
nightswimmer 0
oooh that sucks, you shoulda said to him "it was you"
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Comments (256)
fyl4sure 0
QUUUEEEEFFFF! lmao sucks!
GrapefruitZoe 0
Um, he's an idiot...Vaginas are beautiful. Air gets caught in mine pretty much everytime my boyfriend and I get it on, and we just laugh.
bitchfacee 0
shut up
apastry 6
I lol'd. Vaginas are beautiful? hahahaha
FarSide 23
OP: Sumbish, that had to be embarrassing. Still, if you did not engage in human intercourse immediately prior to this event, it may suggest that your queefer is the size of a football inflated to 12psi, and is therefore prone to the sudden, uncontrolled, expulsion of gaseous containment. You might consider an appointment with a Doctor who specializes in vaginoplasty. They can often surgically reduce the size of overstretched queefers, or install queefer mufflers. Good Luck!
mendertorsel 0
Um... Wow. Suggesting invasive surgery because air got trapped in her ladyparts doing the splits? That's a little much, don't you think?
FarSide 23
Who wants an oversized coffee grinder??
alexm778123 0
Some people really can't tell when someone is making a joke. Huh, I thought it was a basic skill...
mendertorsel 0
See, the thing that defines a joke is that it's funny. Otherwise it's just a stupid thing someone says. In that case you generally take it at face value.
Battledog5006 0
ew
Mercenary 0
Hey, it happens.
maxxo_fml 0
lol id smell your queef and then fart in your mouth :D
ohxberlin 0
at least you are flexible?
cameraboirzu 0
Did u just have sex or somethin?
Susaluda 0
you've obviously never taken a yoga class before...
Crummie 0
Queefs are real? I just thought they were something made-up we joked about in middle school 0_o
Backb 0
omg ik!
camobabe20 2
Lol there real
thecore23456 19
Well you've obviously had little to no sex ever.
stringoffail 0
I feel like the oddest person on the planet, but queefs are kind of hot.
lawlfyl 0
Lmao. Ew.
Knockyoudown 0
LOL funnytimess but its natural