Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I went to a yoga class for the first time in a few years. When I went to change afterwards, I realized I'd split my pants at some point during the class. I think I understand why the girls behind me were laughing so hard now. FML
Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML
Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML
Today, I decided to push myself and go to a morning yoga class, despite suffering from horrible insomnia for the past few nights. During child’s pose, I fell dead asleep on my mat and only woke up because I ripped a comedically loud fart and startled myself. FML
Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML
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Top comments
Mandy_fml 0
Haha, that's hilarious! Sucks to be you.
nightswimmer 0
oooh that sucks, you shoulda said to him "it was you"
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Comments (256)
chunkymonkey69 0
haha wtf? how do u queef randomly like that and why would u put ur leg over head? loser u obviously don't know how to get a man haha
CaseyK_fml 0
holy shit, i thought south park just made up queefing!
Mancake 0
thats why i checked the comments to see if anyone would mention
frickity 0
YDI for showing off your flexibility as you were being greeted. Just stand up, smile, and shake his hand. Not difficult. But FYL because of your luck.
boredlittlechild 0
Gross and weird...
Tri_fml 5
pmsl. Woulda been easier to just introduce yourself though, as people say. A Yoga teacher isn't gonna be impressed by flexibility, but perhaps a straightforward 'hello' might get you closer to him..
FYOURLIFE13 0
I have a queefer muffler.
basicek 0
You should have done it again, even louder Oh man, I wish someone had caught this on tape!! You're my hero!
bridgetoparadise 0
Yeah, alright, but why were you lifting your leg in the air when he was coming to greet you? I can't stand it when people get pretentious about their yoga moves.
swanee14 0
hahahaha queefage. you guys must feel reaaaaaaaal cool fighting over spelling and grammer.