Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, I woke up with severe back pain and about $100 missing from my paycheck. FML
Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a routine check-up. When the nurse took my blood pressure, I passed out, and fell off the table. FML
Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML
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Top comments
PancakeSlap 26
I wish I could make money while I sleep.
DARKDAY07 16
They atleast couldve left a 5
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Comments (52)
CatPasswd 9
I overpaid you.
shinikageWolf 15
"Sorry my breasts only take fives.
DeBoss 8
That is so awesome!!!!!
ThunderTheRad 14
If I were you, OP, I'd be freaked out.
LRSandTJB412 8
Hahahahaha
ibones25 5
Today, the girl I'm in love with told me that I grabbed her ass when I was extremely drunk at a party. I've always dreamt of touching that amazing buttocks. I don't remember it. FML