Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML
Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
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Top comments
alazae 0
; Lmao, that's upsetting xD
WallyTheWombat 0
Can't just tell him to get game and treat women the way they want to be treated. Women want so many different things. Some want to be treated with respect, some like getting walked over, some like to be treated as an equal, some want to be treated like they are better than anyone. The list goes on and all it boils down to is experience.
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Comments (228)
Person1233 13
FYL for not being able to control your dreams. Brb, going to sleep to **** whoever I want.
MrMASADA 0
she probably had a STD anyway
eminemchick 19
dream stds ftw^_^
liljim61290 4
yeah that's sad
swittig 0
Giggity giggity dream sex giggity
Nienna88 0
sounds familiar... I'm pretty sure someone has posted an FML like this with the same last part about not getting laid in their dreams.
Nienna88 0
hmm I didnt know "I can't even get laid in my dreams" is a common thing to say. must be common for people like you who have to call people names online. kudos. :)
Nienna88 0
I'm uncultured and I don't read much because I don't know the phrase "I can't even get laid in my dreams" is common? Right.
Nienna88 0
I never said it was fake or a repeat I said it sounded similar. Learn to read.
BayouBoy21 0
you're pathetic
Maggithaaa 0
.... have you seen YOUR OWN display picture??
SteveMagnifico 6
damn you suck
mattyb123 0
y'all are haters atleast he continues to try
firestarter31 0
lol true just trying to relate to the poor guy.
RyanX92 0
dream up a rag coverin in chloroform?
haymagana 2
I'll have sex with u;)
RileyL29 0
Well, that was easy.
Truth_Nazi 0
If he can't get laid in his dreams, he probably shouldn't get laid in reality.