Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML
Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
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Top comments
alazae 0
; Lmao, that's upsetting xD
WallyTheWombat 0
Can't just tell him to get game and treat women the way they want to be treated. Women want so many different things. Some want to be treated with respect, some like getting walked over, some like to be treated as an equal, some want to be treated like they are better than anyone. The list goes on and all it boils down to is experience.
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Comments (228)
ninja_kid 0
lucky it wasn't a nightmare...
sheethapins 13
Don't worry op, one day you'll meet a boring, desperate girl with extremely low standards and it might happen.
BossDavyy 0
Or he'll just pick up hooker in two hours
Deathpawz 4
when I read this I read it in stewys voice lol xD
sheethapins 13
He might pit his... peeeenis on her vvv... vvvagana? Bloody hell he's the adult here, why the hell am I giving him advice?
adnama22 6
omg same lmao
adnama22 6
about the voice thing
flockz 20
at least you got to make out right?
sweet_candy_ 17
You dream about the thing you stress about.
MrXerxes5 6
Dream p0wn4g3. It seems your reality became your nightmare due to lack of what most men would call ''swagg.'' That is, the ability to attract and pick up women. It is also called being ''gay'' as most would say. Or even possibly, ''future homophobe who will eventually end up strangling homosexuals,'' you know, assuming he chooses the darkside. And who wouldn't when they have cookies!
BossDavyy 0
That makes so much sense...?
iownyou777 0
I want to ******* strangle you
Zombieslayer1 0
When I read this I said "what the ****?" You made no sense there my dear confused commenter. And just to let you know, the dark side lied to you, they don't reeaally have cookies.
joooeee 3
if that was supposed to be funny...
victor69er 0
now thats just unfortunate :(
bthomas0319 2
Thumbs up this comment(:
TylersMB 0
ahah u have no game then(:
TrollsFTW 0
Dude it says ur a fgot in ur profile. So stop talking.
MikalaHart 4
How does being bi change anything about what a person can say? Homophobe much?
TrollsFTW 0
Why am I being moderated for my opinion?
lovetolaughatchu 0
it's a dream and it's telling u that ur really not ready to go to the next level ..relax dude and enjoy the make out session. honestly most men need to work on those skills anyway ;)
funktown 2
hahah that's awesomely pathetic