Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML
Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
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Top comments
alazae 0
; Lmao, that's upsetting xD
WallyTheWombat 0
Can't just tell him to get game and treat women the way they want to be treated. Women want so many different things. Some want to be treated with respect, some like getting walked over, some like to be treated as an equal, some want to be treated like they are better than anyone. The list goes on and all it boils down to is experience.
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Comments (228)
hellokittyfromth 0
i have read this fml before, he just either copied it or decided to re-post it
some1azn 0
OP uses his psychic powers to invade women's dreams.
TrollsFTW 0
YDI for being ugly and or socially awkward.
FueledByJordan 2
& you deserved to be slapped for being so rude to a guy you don't even know.
annagurl7854 0
ha and i thoughtt yurr dreamss were ur getawayyy to lifee . (:
Ihaveapan 0
awww its okay man :D
catdog3134 2
this is a repeat of a different fml
Zombieslayer1 0
That's to bad...go over to one of those gay bars, the women there are easier to pick up because they aren't expecting anyone to hit on them.
TheDrifter 24
Just make sure it's really a girl and you'll be fine. Or don't bother, that way you can honestly say if you'd like it.
Truth_Nazi 0
there's a reason people don't do that, all the men are gay and you'll only get hit on by men, and all the women look like men.
widder 0
why is my weiner sopping wet?
firestarter31 0
people have already said it but the only way to get game is experience. think about it like an RPG, just keep questing and you will level up eventually. Also learn how to at least look confident.
swittig 0
I think his problem might be that he thinks of everything as an RPG.
birdie013 0
it's your dream, you can control them