Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML
Today, I put my perfectly-broiled steak portion in the microwave to keep it from the cats while it rested. I accidentally hit "cook" instead of "timer". My perfect rare steak is now almost perfectly half-leather and half-charcoal. FML
Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML
Today, I made several beautiful steaks on the grill, then set them to rest. While I left to use the bathroom, my four year-old decided they looked yucky and poured syrup on them. My wife was too busy giggling and recording it to stop her. FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I dropped my phone in the frying pan whilst cooking my steak. I had to rinse off the oil immediately and clean the phone, then had to eat a cold steak. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, I took mine and my sister's dog for a walk in the park near my house. The dog managed to find a large piece of rotting, frozen meat buried in the snow and tried to eat it. I had to pry it from his mouth and can't get the smell out of my gloves and coat. FML
Today, I spent my entire day off making a brisket. It had been cooking for 8 hours when, just before dinner, I went for a quick jog. In that time my girlfriend came home and ruined it by trying to make it the way she wanted. I'm a chef and she's an office worker. We couldn't eat it. FML
Today, to save money, I bought some meat in bulk. When I got home, I was told that power to the neighborhood was out, and probably would be for days. Rather than let the meat rot, I barbecued it all and gave it away to my neighbors. The power came on while everyone was eating. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
Either you were cooking a small steak or you have one big cat.
bearstyle22 11
Cats are jerks
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (67)
mine___turtles10 13
What a CAT-atastrophy
NoT_tHaT_pErFeCt 6
I definitely read "I dragged my girl outside to make a steak."
Mr23 9
Well, why wasn't the girl watching the cat? I bet they're in league, those two.
petergozinya37 8
I would have eaten the cat.
SexyWildRednecks 17
Cats can be assholes. My cats steal food from me and my kids all the time when we aren't looking. Never trust a cat but love them for the little funny thieves they are.
cdncw 20
I have 7 cats - you learn ALL the rules of meat handling VERY quickly. 1) you cannot leave meat out unattended. Not for defrosting, not for a minute, or even a second 2) feed them RIGHT before you start cooking / eating As for the FML, hilarious, I've definitely witnessed my cats carrying a pork chop across the house - I know all too well what look you get when you try and take it back. Live and learn, OP!
hypernova101 11
It took your steak.. take one of its nine lives.. Or give it to a pound.. cats are jerks.