By ang3l4 - 21/09/2016 05:28 - United States - Redding

Today, I discovered that my state is passing a bill regulating cow "emissions". Basically, we need to regulate cow farts. I live in a farming town. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 521
You deserved it 1 234

Same thing different taste

Top comments

The first person to come up with an air purifying butt plug is going to make millions.

I wouldn't worry OP, it's not like anyone can tell if your cows are "exceeding the limit" and then fine you or haul you off to jail.


CA is a great state to visit ... but to live or run a business not so much

The first person to come up with an air purifying butt plug is going to make millions.

First person to attempt to apply one is going to get a darwin award.

andrmac 25

Maybe more like a muffler that absorbs the emissions.

Only about 10% of the methane comes out the rear end. Much more from burps

Amusingly (and amazingly), theres a type of seaweed that when added to the cows diet, can actually reduce their methane emissions by 90+ percent. It apparently interferes with the chemicals that produce methane while breaking stuff down. Isnt science amazing?

I know this was a joke, but it was Gov. Brown who wants to regulate how much cows fart. probably got tired of forgetting he ripped one and walked into it too many times.

chrisbeaudoin 26

Who ever said it, they are right, cow fart produces way more pollution than anybody notices.

Perhaps, but it's completely impossible to regulate. A farmer can't control their cows' farts. Edit: also, aren't cars much more polluting than cows?

You can influence how much a cow farts or burps methane by diet. Actually counterintuitive, grass eating cows emit more harmful gases than cows being fed silage.

Yes, cows doing better on any food other than the one they were designed (or evolved, pace darwinists) to eat is certainly counter-intuitive.

And you're going to miss the smell of cow farts in the morning?

Methane gas in our atmosphere IS a serious problem. Passing laws limiting the gases from a cow's ass could be a good thing. Now if laws could be passed to filter the crap coming out of the mouths of the politicians, we'd be set.

Goblin182 26

And exactly how are they going to regulate this? Are they going to install fart meters on the cows ass and once he hits his limits they shut his ass?

It's good in theory, but it's currently impossible to control cow gas. At least without some horribly painful death from a prostate exam gone wrong. The difference between theory and oracticallity

You must be a special kind of stupid huh?

It's not even good in theory, if you ask me. Stupid idea no matter how you look at it.

I came on here to make this exact comment! Methane is a way more powerful greenhouse gas than CO2. I'm rusty on the stats. But it's a legitimate problem, well studied, and unfortunately not well regulated.

How much gas can be affected and therefore changed by what they eat, to an extent. However, is it possible that this may be talking about for an entire farm/ranch, and that instead it could affect the number of cows they could have while staying under their total gas limit. So if the farmer/rancher could figure out how to have his cows produce less gas, he/she could have more cows.

Like most things they will take an average and limit the amount of cows you have....This is just my opinion not a fact...politicians can be so illogical sometimes you never know.....But this can be a good thing if all the stars align....we eat too much beef, we can limit the amount of cows, which will raise the price of meat. we will eat less meat be healthier and the farmer will make more money....Too bad that in reality things never work out like this and probably the big ones going profit and the small farmer will suffer

Yes. But none of this FML has anything to do with me. So your comment is inappropriate.

Faulty meters, made in China, or Taiwan.... Regulating USDA

fooltemptress 36

29 - Actually what's most likely going to happen is the dairy farmers and cattle ranchers will move to other states which have better prices on property and are more business/farmer friendly. It's sad how California continues to consistently force all business besides tourism out of the state. It leaves a lot of people trying to support families in part-time, minimum wage jobs.

Maybe they're trying to get businesses to do things better? Profits may be important, but you don't _actually_ have to be as bad as you can get away with. Quality and morals sell.

FalloutScrolls 25

California, everybody. Where logic goes to die.

Hey it's not our fault that you can smell cow farts in Baker from 10 miles away!

BC the state doesn't have anything better to worry about.

middlenamefrank 8

Actually, from what I've read, more methane comes out of the other end of the cow. Seriously. So you not only have to control cow farts, you have to control the burps too.

I wouldn't worry OP, it's not like anyone can tell if your cows are "exceeding the limit" and then fine you or haul you off to jail.

You say that now, but in the People's Democratic Republic of California, someone will find a way....

It's typically an outrageous tax based on heads of livestock. You have 150 cows, that's $2000/year because they cause global warming! #The Inconvenient Truth

I don't know the specifics in this case. However, it would be possible to install additional air quality monitoring stations. (Besides the ones that already exist and monitor the concentration of specific pollutants). I also don't know how expensive that would be.

This is the same state that tried to pass a bill that demanded that every bullet made should have a unique serial number on it...