By Danielle Heichelbech - 8/11/2020 08:02 - United States

Chemical warfare

Today, my 28-year-old husband lifted one cheek, strained so hard I thought he'd shat himself, and screamed, "Fire one!" as he released from his ass a stench so awful all my eyebrows and eyelashes are now permanently curly. FML
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By  coius  |  23

While I’d say that I saw a report that people who fart in front of each other is a sign of deep bonds (usually it’s considered showing you a side that the public would never see) what he did was deliberately unfunny and insulting. Joking aside, he subjected you to a horrible stench that isn’t funny but rather insulting. And in case anyone thinks farts aren’t hazardous to your health, I present the one time I farted while bending over (i recently had surgery and my digestive track was recovering from the anesthetic used), my wife suffered a full-on asthma attack from it. Just saying.

Next time he pulls that crap (heh), grab something to fan it with and make him suffer from blowback, and protect your nostrils from stenchrape at the same time. Maybe he won’t do it anymore. Either that, or start a prank war and have fun with it till he cries uncle. Look for an electronic device online that makes a random chirp and hide it well away in his car like up in his seat or between the plastic cowling inside the cabin. He’ll never find it since its not constant, and will annoy the hell out of him. Then tell him the chirping will stop if he agrees not to pull it again. If he renegs, reinstall chirping device. Rinse and repeat.