Today, I found out I can retire early with a decent pension. My nephew, who I haven't heard from for 10 years, suddenly got in touch to ask how I am and to say how much he has missed me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my elderly coworker was telling me about a long-lost friend, so I helped her use the Internet to look the friend up. We found her. Specifically, her obituary. FML
Today, I found out I'm an uncle. Normally this would be great news, except I have spent the last 8 years thinking I was her father. FML
Today, I found out my 35 year-old brother got divorced 18 months ago when my now ex-sister-in-law told me via Facebook messenger, and asked me to tell my parents, as both of them were too scared to do it themselves. FML
Today, due to some luck on my part and a really good stockbroker, I was able to retire quite comfortably at 45… at least until my wife told me she's pregnant, and as an added bonus, it’s twins. Now I need a job again, quite desperately. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Last week my coworker, who I sit next to 5 days a week, returned to work after bereavement maternity leave. FML
Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML
Today, I made my last mortgage payment and can finally save more money from my pay each month. I’m retiring next week and my pension isn’t even close to my wage. I was better off when I was working to pay the mortgage. FML
Today, I finally received the phone call I had been waiting on for years. The agency who is trying to approach my father in an attempt for me to get in contact with him called me with the news that they found him. Too bad he died about 25 years ago, so he can't consent with making himself known. FML
Today, I went to visit my dad for the first time in over a year, as I have been studying for my Master's degree in history halfway across the world. The first thing he said to me? "So, gotten a real job yet?" FML
Today, I was bored out of my mind at work. I told my coworker he was lucky to be leaving early. I forgot the reason of his early departure was to go to his grandfather's funeral. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FluffythePink 24
Tell him all about your good luck and how you are planning on enjoying it and when the inevitable requests for cash start, just refuse. He'll vanish as fast as he appeared. Enjoy your good fortune and live well with it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
FluffythePink 24
Tell him all about your good luck and how you are planning on enjoying it and when the inevitable requests for cash start, just refuse. He'll vanish as fast as he appeared. Enjoy your good fortune and live well with it.