Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML
Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
We all scream like little girls at some point or another in our lifetimes. The real question is, did anyone hear you? Did the police come to investigate because they got calls from neighbors fearing a girl was being raped? That would truly be an FML. Oh, wait. Just playing. Spiders are scary, eh?
Katzilla_dances 0
Hehe, peeing when you're scared is a natural instinct, animals do it so they weigh less and can run a 'little' faster.
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Comments (141)
Jenae91 0
I find that oddly adorable. :)
heyyimkell 2
Not really an FML. So you saw a huge hairy spider in your bathtub and screamed, and peed a little bit. At least you were in the bathroom at the time. :P I would have done the same thing. I'm scared of spiders, especially big hairy ones.
gclunax 0
Ok... Everybody screams like a girl wen their scared -.- you could have the deepest voice and still scream like a girl. Whats wronf with screaming like a girl anyway? What u think too "macho manly" to scream like a girl??
suckitsucker 0
you wrote this well. funny
shoopdawoop_xox 0
its a spider man. its not going to kill you. ahaha.
Zgirl 0
LOL ^_^ In my head I read this in JD's voice from Scrubs.
flex_able 0
LOL @ your honesty
jetstream417 0
Haha. FYL cause spiders are truly scary. But you're a puss for peeing lmfao
omg_fml608 0
lmfaoooo. but spiders are scary :O .
UnreasonableShot 0
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