Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my hammerhead of a dog decided to "help" me clean by grabbing the vacuum cord and dragging it across the house, knocking over everything in its path. The house is somehow messier than before I started. FML
Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML
Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
Today, I came home to shredded tissues all over the floor. I yelled at my dog, who looked guilty but confused. Turns out, it wasn’t him, it was my robot vacuum cleaner again. It had sucked up a bunch of tissues and napkins from under the couch and then spread them all over the place like confetti. I owe my dog an apology. FML
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
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Top comments
Hayis4horses 0
dont be such a knob. what did you expect. vacume cleaners emit a high pitch frequency that only some animals can hear, like dogs (think dog whistles). that high pitch freaks them out, its not the loud vacume thats scary. dont you know anything. your a cruel and stupid git.
leelee87_fml 0
Poor pup. But perfect opportunity to teach it to love the carpet cleaning machine.
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Comments (40)
massnerder420 4
It just sounds like youre a jerk and you wanted to see what would happen. You deserve it! I hope your house stinks like pee.
22cute 17
that's stupid. You're doing it wrong. You cannot teach someone to be unafraid by frightening them.
DeniBearxx 0
HAHAHAHAAHAA (:
mtbrown 0
Nothing made me laugh harder than this comment
Mabonga 12
in the spirit of facing our fears, please walk alone at night in a dangerous neighbourhood
YellowKettleBell 31
Thumbs up for joke, not for advice.
WadeNickerson 16
Put it on a leash next time, that's what I did with my dog and he got over his fear pretty quick
burninsnow 23
More like F the dogs life
JustSomeBroad 24
You don't train an animal to stop being afraid of something by trying to bring it closer to them.