Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Wow... that takes skill, my friend. That, or you've got some dangerous ******* spoons in your kitchen. At least you discovered that before it got to your mouth, right?
laughing_zebra 0
Seriously... A spoon?
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Comments (227)
giiiiinge 0
"Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon." YDI.
sobe23 0
A spoon. Seriously?? How on earth does that even happen!!!
kisseshugsdrugs 5
note to self: spoons are useful weapons.
Witchcraft_fml 5
A spoon? Terrific! Was it a clean scoop? Did you have bits of cereal or oatmeal embedded in your finger? Now, go find out if you can cut your finger on these: [ ] Plastic clothes-hanger [ ] Deodorant cap [ ] Banana peel [ ] Bath towel [ ] Milk
TheLetterZero 7
[x] Milk. That liquid is dangerous stuff!
jazzy1432 0
Definitley cut myself with the first 2 on your list, but not seriously enough to need stitches lol.
horneyhic 15
I've cut myself with milk before...
ilovemangojuice 0
u have serious skill...use it wisley
guitardedman 0
good work champ...
helluva 1
this is silly, but i'm going to try to cut my finger with a spoon too. && someone should tell the emo kids that they can stop using razors now.
Skull_300 0
What the **** was it, a grapefruit spoon? The doctor's should have clobbered you over the head with a ******* Hammer!
helluva 1
bahahahaah imagine a robbery.. "I haz teh sp00n. and I iz not afraid to hurt you with diZ.."
scullion44 0
A spoon? Are you mentally challenged?