Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Wow... that takes skill, my friend. That, or you've got some dangerous ******* spoons in your kitchen. At least you discovered that before it got to your mouth, right?
laughing_zebra 0
Seriously... A spoon?
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Comments (227)
subcultured 0
if you can maim with a spoon then you should be feared.
rallychild 0
thats hilarious, i once got locked knee from standing... yup. standing. worst 6 weeks of my life wearing that brace.
turtleboy13 0
thats why your mom tells you to wear a helmet
Lady_Bow 4
1. gross. 2. what is wrong with those doctors, really? 3. how the hell do you cut yourself with a sooon?
meyanna 0
I think there's more to this story than what you're telling us, but in the end, I'm sure YDI.
elliekinslurvsya 0
I had to read the first sentence of this about 10 times before I was completely sure I had read it right. How in the hell do you cut yourself with a SPOON?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
besad: Think Bruce Wayne, then reread the comments. And was I the only one whose first thought was "A lot of high school principals are gonna be scratching their heads over the bruised thumb epidemic this week"?!
V_Ailani 0
Hey I'm Surprised you've not cut out your tongue yet... Who knows when it will happen, being how dangerous SPOONS are !!
im_a_dinosaur 0
how do you cut yourself on a spoon....hahahha specialllllllllll
blastvortex 4
Er... what? I could maybe see doing that with a spork, but how the hell do you slice yourself with a spoon? Do you sharpen your spoon handles or something? WTF... I lol'd at the doctors. That was awesome. How much did he win? xD