Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Wow... that takes skill, my friend. That, or you've got some dangerous ******* spoons in your kitchen. At least you discovered that before it got to your mouth, right?
laughing_zebra 0
Seriously... A spoon?
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Comments (227)
LeStab 4
This FML should have just read "Today I cut my finger open..... with a spoon. FML" seriously thats the fml not the doctors making fun of you althought I would have too
quarty165 0
That's exactly what I was thinking! When I read the first sentence I thought, "and that's not the fml?" Op, posting it on the internet probably wasn't the best way to reduce your humiliation...
Lokis_Demise 0
he says a spoon. He does not say what kind of spoon. It could be one of the spork things. XD Gotta think about all the types of Spoons! ;o
elektrik_fml 0
"Sporks are their own breed." hahaha. quote of a lifetime ;D
neon_shoes 0
Maybe there is a new spork like thing out now, a koon, for all you emos out there who want to take soup to a whole new level.
FaddiusPrime 0
Haha, I love doctors.
MonkeySpeaks 4
LoL My best friend is a ER surgeon and they compete for weirdest patient all the time. She's told me some crazy stories. They do it to make the days more bearable (they see some pretty horrible stuff in the ER).
spazzdoodle 0
Hey, working the ER is crap :) You get people coming in everyday wanting miracle medicine for the flu or the cold, hard to work with patients, and the like. This is the only way you get to keep your sanity :)
realsiq 0
i dont think i could cut some of my finger off with a spoon if i tried.
ITuMT 0
How the ****
CousinSkeeter 0
What the ****
boyob76 0
How do you cut your finger with a spoon, all I can think of is a grapefruit spoon because it has serrations.
Anonymiz 4
Does this give anyone else ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES flashbacks?
Liine_fml 0
Oooh yes :D First thing that came to my mind!
PersnicketyPu55y 0
"Because it's DULL you twit, it'll HURT MORE!" :D
jmeg_fml 0
sorry bout your injury, but this is, after all, why bandaids were born. or butterfly closures, if you're feeling dramatic.
flgirlwguitar 2
I broke my wrist once when I put my rollerblades on and fell while getting up to get my wrist guards. I have nerve damage in my foot from kicking a car tire. I also had a finger gash - this being from when one of my pet triggerfish took about a 1/2" gouge of skin out of my fingertip while I was cleaning its tank. Seriously, sh*t happens. These crazy things keep doctors' days jovial.
MonkeySpeaks 4
Exactly. They see some horrible stuff in the ER. I mean horrible. Its the funny cases that kind of balance it out. A buddy of mine in college chopped a piece of his finger off with a deli slicer at work. He was tehrefore known as Gnubby. He definitely had a sense of humor about it.
JuuChan 3
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a!?
hot_mess88 0
Dammit! You got there first. I got attacked by a pair of humuhumus once. I was out snorkeling at Hanauma, and this huge trigger just darted at my mask, got within 3 inches of me, and sharply turned. It started swimming around me and another had followed as was doing the same thing. All was fine and dandy until a wave rolled over me, knocking me off balance and I almost hit one. Their spines came up, and they started charging me and retreating repeatedly. It was the trippiest thing ever. It was like they thought they were sharks. It was so cute.!
mavericksurfer 0
who asked for your history of injuries non-related to the topic?
mavericksurfer 0
@flgirlwguitar
Tiger8108 0
How do you cut yourself on a spoon unless its fashioned into some sort of prison shiv?