Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, I pinched a nerve in my shoulder while pulling the bedcovers higher in the morning. After excruciating pain all day, I climbed back into bed at night, twisting my knee in the process. FML
Today, I woke up after a 16-hour shift, and my back is out. I worked it in order to "enjoy" my 2 days off. I can barely move. FML
Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML
Today, I went to a yoga class, thinking it would be good for my stiff calf from running. I pulled my back out doing the downward dog. Now can't get out of bed. FML
Today, I'm recovering from my second back surgery. I survived four years in the Army with one combat tour without major injury, only to destroy my back the day after discharge by lifting my mother-in-law's suitcase into the trunk of her car. FML
Today, after a long day at work, my legs were aching by the time I got home. Tired, I tried to go to bed early. Now the only thing preventing me from sleeping is the pain in my legs. It’s 4 a.m. now and no luck. FML
Today, I woke up with my back super sore. I couldn’t get out of my bed without crying and great difficulty. The last time my chronic pain was like this it went on for three months and I could barely move. It was absolutely awful. FML
Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML
Today, after going to the bathroom I went to bed. I have a very sturdy bookshelf that sticks halfway to the right of the door as I enter my bedroom. I had dumbly turned off the lights as I didn't want to bother with them before bed. I ended up kneeing the bookshelf, hard, now I'm wide awake and in pain. FML
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Top comments
hahaha6 0
sigh...... #54 was trying to tell the idiot commenter to shut up, give our armed forces some respect, and lets see THEM try to do 4 years in the Marines(because they most likely wouldn't make it). That was the point of their comment..... Very relevant......
Joe2794 0
Why don't you go into the Marine for 4 years? You won't be able to survive that long.
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Comments (80)
Phoenix_fml 13
If you really are a Marine, you would know to capitalize Marine Corps. Also, 4 years in the infantry will do that to your back
kukopia 0
So which is it??
IllegalLight 0
You wuss. If you joined the Marines for that long then honestly? You should not be calling a little pain from sleeping wrong an FML. FYL for being a pansy.
Funtertaining11 0
It's not your fault. Maybe your body is just adjusting and isn't used to your bed.
inkedgeek 0
Marines are *******.
Cerataphora 0
How so?
inkedgeek 0
because their motto is "never leave your buddies behind"
rightsaidred 3
Actually, it's "Semper Fidelis" (Always Faithful)
inkedgeek 0
hey douche read between the lines
Cerataphora 0
How is that reminiscent of "pussyism" (to make up a proper word)? It means they'll drag their asses back into a battle to help out a comrade, dead or alive. Sounds pretty ******* brave to me. You or I on the other hand, would probably run the hell out of there.
alexandrat09 0
Oh far real. Marines are *******. Let me tell you a little story of a guy who came up to my bar last night. I was sitting at the bar, and there was this guy who came in. He had this huge gash right above his lip but under his nose. I was wondering what happened but out of curtiousy I didn't. Well, I started talking with one of our regulars when the subject of military came up. He brought the other guy up and told me he was a staff sergeant in the Marines. He has gone to Iraq four times. His first time in Iraq, it was his battallion was out numbered by the Iraqis. In the matter of ten minutes, the Iraqis were dead, and it was just the guy and one of his Marines. The guy had been shot in the face and hip. He was struggling to get up. When they were calling air support, they said it would be ten minutes for them to get there. He said that in ten minutes he would be dead. His friend was flying the airplane and recognized his voice. He was there in a matter of five minutes to rescue his friend. This guy had to fight against the Marines to stay in. They wanted to kick him out since he got shot in the face and hip. He fought against them and it still in. This guy doesn't even tell his family when he's on leave because he says they become an emotional wreck and he doesn't want to see him cry. Don't you feel like a douche bag now.
Xero3g 5
Don't **** with the Corps.
wpwpwp 0
this isn't funny at all and it's not an fml shit happens, get over it.
nuga 0
What the heck is with everyone freaking out at the OP? This is a humor site, the fml doesn't have to be something 'serious' and the OP is just pointing out the irony of getting through 4 years of marine corps without any injuries only to hurt himself in his bed. Chill out, people.
technobutterfly 0
Woahh. Intense.
intothevoid612 0
Don't worry about it, I pulled a muscle in my back while getting out my wallet to pay for my monthly gym membership fees.
baileys82 0
you win. possibly the internet
alexandrat09 0
People here are assholes. This is a FML. Marines are hard core shit and for you not to be injured during your enlistment and hurt your back when your out is some shit. Hope you feel better.
UGADawg08 1
Thank you for your service, Marine.