Intimacy: Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a...

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:04 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 279

You deserved it 4 478

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By Anonymous - 04/06/2015 07:06 - United States - Corning

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 362

You deserved it 4 375

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 229

You deserved it 7 060

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 274

You deserved it 2 444

Spyware

By Anonymous - 26/06/2009 01:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 814

You deserved it 10 929

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 781

You deserved it 4 921

WTF roomie?

By JN5SLK - 08/11/2013 22:29 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 058

You deserved it 4 642

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 539

You deserved it 723

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 700

You deserved it 15 190

By lunchbox2353 - 30/07/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, for 20 minutes, I watched my girlfriend use a mini flashlight to look for her keys in her purse. The flashlight was on her key chain. As were her keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 740

You deserved it 382

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 231

perdix 29

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:02

She's not too bright, is she?

ticktockbaboom 6

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:02

Hey, times are tough

Comments

Obey_StudBoii 23

Saturday 21 September 2013 6:39

What the? -_-

HatemyLife32 15

Saturday 21 September 2013 6:57

Wow! Super nasty

AngryD 9

Saturday 21 September 2013 7:08

you need a new roommate and clean everything with bleach who knows what else has been tainted

marcranger 28

Saturday 21 September 2013 8:44

Heh heh heh, you said taint. And it fits, hopefully better than that flashlight.

tman1985 9

Saturday 21 September 2013 7:09

Well, she knows how to light up a room

sweetbliss3 37

Saturday 21 September 2013 7:25

I suggest pointing her in the right direction; a sex shop. and buy yourself a new flashlight next time you're out.

thearmsofpeace 4

Saturday 21 September 2013 7:32

Someone's hole is pleased.

ThatsJustCray 5

Saturday 21 September 2013 7:43

Do u even sweg?

tehdarkness 21

Saturday 21 September 2013 8:15

That's her flashlight now, right?

rykothechubby 5

Saturday 21 September 2013 8:24

Sounds more like a fleshlight.

crazytwinsmom 25

Saturday 21 September 2013 8:50

Maybe she needed some light to find something she lost, her virginity?

Keywords

Video games Love Gamers Health Gross Weird First Dates Smells Technology Parents Annoying Kids Animals Dogs Jealousy AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Amazon Money Cute Birthday Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

The Top

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 871

You deserved it 43 967

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, I was called to solve a problem question at the start of a lecture. I stupidly went up to the board before telling the lecturer in front of 300+ students that I had no Idea what he had been doing the whole week. The lecturer made a sneery comment about why some of us are blockheads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 445

Today, despite the carriage being entirely empty, a large man chose to sit right beside me on the train. After making me uncomfortable with personal questions, he asked if we could be friends and hang out, both of which I shyly declined. He then accused me of being a racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 080

You deserved it 202

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 432

You deserved it 3 028

Today, a thunderstorm killed our internet and I realized there were lots of things I could do "in the real world", but… I’m too tired to do any of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 576

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 833

You deserved it 2 165

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 370

You deserved it 22 818