By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 01:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 011
You deserved it 2 738

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Report it to the police and get a restraining order, that bitch sounds crazy to me!

Keep an eye out. She might be back to try that again op.


Keep an eye out. She might be back to try that again op.

But nothing says "romance" quite like power walking off into the distance

into the sunset would've been better

Something tells me she isn't smart enough to succeed

Report it to the police and get a restraining order, that bitch sounds crazy to me!

Something tells me that the crazy bitch won't listen to a restraining order, I think OP will need to set up surveillance cameras to catch her in the act, before and after the restraining order.

Unless she actually did damage, the police won't do much about it. The best you might get is "attempt at ..." but you need actual proof, like a photograph with her and the knife for that. They won't do anything, especially a restraining order, without credible evidence.

What the fu.. Nope. That's perfectly normal.

Be like team rocket and just dig a bunch of hole traps to catch her

If he does that he'll end up in one of those holes.

the number of thumbs up in this comment is not high enough! :P

Well, if he's gonna try that, he'd better make sure to not get blasted off... again.

mmmxr 11

It's actually not low enough..

but they always get blasted off

All the stories of crazy exes on FML make me paranoid about mine

Rosebudx 32

Sounds like you two had a nice, friendly break-up, if she's helping you with basic car maintenance. I don't see any crazy-chick problems here, just a good friend. /sarcasm

I disliked your comment for assuming I was too stupid to get your sarcasm.

It's not about insulting your intelligence.. it's so they don't get pissy comments for no reason

#20 I've figured out that you kinda need to wait out the first few hours after an FML gets posted to see the majority response. Usually people get super angsty and angry immediately after its posted because they want top comment or are just mad they weren't fast enough.

Rosebudx 32

19, I promise I'm not trying to insult anyone's intelligence. I actually went back and added the last line because I have been downvoted in the extreme by people who didn't get sarcasm, like 20 said. It's like you just can't win on this site sometimes.

She wasn't lying- she'd just rather the pressure be 0

psychopolarbear 28

I like the way you think.

I mean hey, the way you said it sounds like she didn't succeed (this time) so it's not necessarily FYL yet

jazzy_123 20

He's on her hit list. That's enough for this to be an Fml situation.

Thank god you caught her. You should alert the police in case she does it again they will have a record

How about you show here the tire pressure by running her over!

No matter how crazy she is, attempted murder isn't the answer.

I'd assume he was joking.

isnt this website for humor? but assuming everyone is serious must sound more fun

It's almost like I was joking too, #28. :P But also seriously don't murder anyone.

It's not murder if the body can't be found...