Love: Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has...

By immaturity all around - 31/03/2013 17:55 - United States

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 761

You deserved it 6 980

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Same thing different taste

By Pissed - 21/09/2012 23:20 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 553

You deserved it 2 880

By bastard magnet - 02/10/2011 22:14 - United States

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 7 957

By heartbroken - 14/07/2012 01:41 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 631

You deserved it 2 828

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 684

You deserved it 5 695

By Random - 25/02/2016 22:09 - United States - Tuskegee

Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 245

You deserved it 4 500

Freaked

By Anonymous - 12/06/2023 15:00

Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 148

Too much information, thanks

By Anonymous - 15/07/2023 18:00

Today, I’ve had to listen to my parents discovering that they were both cheating on each other. As I left, they were screaming at each other. When I got home, not only had they calmed down, they were openly discussing whether their other partners might be interested in foursomes or swinging. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 113

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 649

You deserved it 4 912

By -_- - 14/06/2014 03:56 - Australia - Elwood

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 522

You deserved it 4 970

Great, just great

By Norwegian - 02/06/2012 16:55 - Norway

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 049

You deserved it 7 455

thefmlinator 10

Monday 1 April 2013 3:18

I'd do what he says

tabletoplady 11

Monday 1 April 2013 3:20

Your dad is my hero.

Comments

NewYorkMexPR 14

Monday 1 April 2013 3:27

Dad of the year

firechicky 12

Monday 1 April 2013 3:29

...more like that's ******* awesome.

RoboCunnilingus 23

Monday 1 April 2013 3:29

Actually, Dad has the right idea.

osm1989_fml 6

Monday 1 April 2013 3:31

Despite the violence, it's actually kinda sweet. And pretty clever too. You're still his baby girl, and when my baby girls are of the inevitable "dating age," I'll wanna kill the shit out of anyone who ***** with them too. I call it "pissed off mama bear mode" when I get like that. You just don't **** with my cubs.

silverstream20 20

Monday 1 April 2013 3:33

That's some sound advice. You should do what he says.

kzai 16

Monday 1 April 2013 3:33

At least you have a dad who still tries to make you laugh even when you feel like crying.. r.i.p

perdix 29

Monday 1 April 2013 3:36

Is the shit-killing going to happen before or after the three-way?

Mopmob02 18

Monday 1 April 2013 3:47

If it were me I it would occur during. There is no way they would see it coming.

Metallica36176 16

Monday 1 April 2013 3:37

Your comment was spot-on. Its true that women are like that. We want to hear what we say to ourselves but get mad because a man cant read our minds. And this reminds me of the FML where the girl was fishing for compliments and didn't hear what she wanted. I never understood that. Id rather hear advice like that from a man, I dont want any gushy crap. But great comment.