Health: Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked... - FML

By goingtothegym - 09/12/2013 01:16 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 733

You deserved it 6 553

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Same thing different taste

By anonynomi - 19/11/2015 17:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 1 605

Suspected

By Anonymous - 09/12/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 143

Smugglers unite

By atang - 09/04/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 941

You deserved it 11 455

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 3 011

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 19/01/2022 02:01

Today, there's a food thief in our office who manages to steal from the fridge without being caught, and everyone keeps blaming me, probably because I’m the fattest. I have a gastric band and can only eat a few mouthfuls before being full, but still people think I’m stealing entire bags of food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 169

Thick as thieves

By blovesg - 07/04/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 403

You deserved it 539 698

By nocat6 - 15/09/2014 03:07 - United States - Northville

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 161

You deserved it 3 066

Shame! Shame! Shame!

By Telinaa - 08/11/2010 02:25 - Australia

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 204

You deserved it 3 066

Fashionista

By malicious_melons - 07/07/2013 23:41 - United States - Santa Paula

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 243

You deserved it 3 529

XXL

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 23:01

Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 282

Next

Top comments

xnyletak 17

Monday 9 December 2013 8:11

It's okay, OP. December is cold. 'Tis the season to gain some extra insulation.

Somuchart 3

Monday 9 December 2013 8:29

I had the opposite happen once, see I was shoplifting condoms and the owner caught me, looked at my face and let me go saying I couldn't possibly use them so I couldn't possibly be stealing em.

Comments

thaddaeus413 7

Monday 9 December 2013 8:07

Hit that gym

Somuchart 3

Monday 9 December 2013 8:25

No guts no glory

Somuchart 3

Monday 9 December 2013 8:29

I had the opposite happen once, see I was shoplifting condoms and the owner caught me, looked at my face and let me go saying I couldn't possibly use them so I couldn't possibly be stealing em.

Somuchart 3

Monday 9 December 2013 8:30

@1 you're comment is stupid when you consider the ops name

JocelynKaulitz 28

Monday 9 December 2013 8:40

#1, I'm sure he hasn't considered that before…

TheCanucklehead 22

Monday 9 December 2013 8:56

Beast mode time.

Rednipplehippo 1

Monday 9 December 2013 18:40

I know right. It's his own fault

spoo 24

Monday 9 December 2013 23:18

Lots of "him" "his" for a woman.

Katiakatxx 13

Monday 9 December 2013 8:07

that's awful! D: it also reminds me of Family guy..

Blink_me26 21

Monday 9 December 2013 10:35

That was my first thought too

Doritozilla 20

Monday 9 December 2013 19:42

"I need an adult, I NEED AN ADULT!"

paskievitchjack 23

Tuesday 21 February 2017 21:01

I need an adult! I need an adult!

DrHail 22

Monday 9 December 2013 8:08

Fyl, OP. I know the feeling. But that's ok! You're probably too fabulous anyway.

jazzy_123 20

Monday 9 December 2013 9:55

OP is probably PHAT, Pretty Hot And Tempting.

spoo 24

Monday 9 December 2013 23:20

sick of fat being given Euphemisms...

jazzy_123 20

Tuesday 10 December 2013 7:49

80, I'm pretty sure you can't handle a real PHAT woman *hair flip*

Fender60_fml 6

Monday 9 December 2013 8:08

U probably need to lay of the snacks, like cake.

xnyletak 17

Monday 9 December 2013 8:13

You probably need to lay off the bitchiness.

Fender60_fml 6

Monday 9 December 2013 8:25

Nigga shut yo titts

SilentNightz 9

Monday 9 December 2013 8:09

Lose dem pounds.

EternalTime 7

Monday 9 December 2013 12:36

Good advice, I'm sure this never ran through his head

Lilxpie 18

Monday 9 December 2013 13:48

#60 - Her head you mean.

PunsY0 5

Monday 9 December 2013 8:09

4th

PunsY0 5

Monday 9 December 2013 8:10

*6th

whiteboy896 9

Monday 9 December 2013 8:11

And ill be the 1st to say, who cares?

wheres_waldo13 4

Monday 9 December 2013 8:10

lay off them twinkies

NessaMae 19

Monday 9 December 2013 8:11

This seems like a common problem considering the vast amount of FML's similar to this one lol.

xnyletak 17

Monday 9 December 2013 8:11

It's okay, OP. December is cold. 'Tis the season to gain some extra insulation.

Gingerette 8

Monday 9 December 2013 8:13

Heck yeah. I broke out my vat of walrus fat back in November.

xnyletak 17

Monday 9 December 2013 8:14

Thinking ahead! Good job!

awkwardturtl3 3

Monday 9 December 2013 8:11

they need glasses

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Cute Haircut Miscellaneous Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting DIY Cats Family Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Anxiety Technology

The Top

Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 135

You deserved it 4 975

Today, my dad has been faking social anxiety to make me feel like there's something wrong with me. How do I know? Because I actually have social anxiety, and he not only shows no symptoms of it, but he also has a lot of misconceptions about it that he would know are false if he actually did have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 379

You deserved it 3 572

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 380

You deserved it 5 256

Today, it was my wedding day. Everything went great, except that no one showed up. Apparently, the address of the invitation was typed wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 802

You deserved it 16 962

Today, I had my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 350

You deserved it 21 996

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 370

You deserved it 9 816

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 227

You deserved it 11 656