Health: Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked... - FML

By goingtothegym - 09/12/2013 01:16 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 712

You deserved it 6 544

Health

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Same thing different taste

By anonynomi - 19/11/2015 17:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 023

You deserved it 1 598

Smugglers unite

By atang - 09/04/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 925

You deserved it 11 450

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 167

You deserved it 2 993

By nocat6 - 15/09/2014 03:07 - United States - Northville

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 148

You deserved it 3 059

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 894

You deserved it 13 428

By Anonymous - 02/04/2011 21:05 - United States

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 522

You deserved it 5 053

Shame! Shame! Shame!

By Telinaa - 08/11/2010 02:25 - Australia

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 183

You deserved it 3 056

Thick as thieves

By blovesg - 07/04/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 376

You deserved it 539 487

By Gitana - 22/04/2012 19:08 - Spain - Tafalla

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 888

You deserved it 3 164

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 20:55 - United States

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 737

You deserved it 12 830

Next

Top comments

xnyletak 17

Monday 9 December 2013 8:11

It's okay, OP. December is cold. 'Tis the season to gain some extra insulation.

Somuchart 3

Monday 9 December 2013 8:29

I had the opposite happen once, see I was shoplifting condoms and the owner caught me, looked at my face and let me go saying I couldn't possibly use them so I couldn't possibly be stealing em.

Comments

thaddaeus413 7

Monday 9 December 2013 8:07

Hit that gym

Somuchart 3

Monday 9 December 2013 8:25

No guts no glory

Somuchart 3

Monday 9 December 2013 8:29

I had the opposite happen once, see I was shoplifting condoms and the owner caught me, looked at my face and let me go saying I couldn't possibly use them so I couldn't possibly be stealing em.

Somuchart 3

Monday 9 December 2013 8:30

@1 you're comment is stupid when you consider the ops name

JocelynKaulitz 28

Monday 9 December 2013 8:40

#1, I'm sure he hasn't considered that before…

TheCanucklehead 22

Monday 9 December 2013 8:56

Beast mode time.

Rednipplehippo 1

Monday 9 December 2013 18:40

I know right. It's his own fault

spoo 24

Monday 9 December 2013 23:18

Lots of "him" "his" for a woman.

Katiakatxx 13

Monday 9 December 2013 8:07

that's awful! D: it also reminds me of Family guy..

Blink_me26 21

Monday 9 December 2013 10:35

That was my first thought too

Doritozilla 20

Monday 9 December 2013 19:42

"I need an adult, I NEED AN ADULT!"

paskievitchjack 23

Tuesday 21 February 2017 21:01

I need an adult! I need an adult!

DrHail 22

Monday 9 December 2013 8:08

Fyl, OP. I know the feeling. But that's ok! You're probably too fabulous anyway.

jazzy_123 20

Monday 9 December 2013 9:55

OP is probably PHAT, Pretty Hot And Tempting.

spoo 24

Monday 9 December 2013 23:20

sick of fat being given Euphemisms...

jazzy_123 20

Tuesday 10 December 2013 7:49

80, I'm pretty sure you can't handle a real PHAT woman *hair flip*

Fender60_fml 6

Monday 9 December 2013 8:08

U probably need to lay of the snacks, like cake.

xnyletak 17

Monday 9 December 2013 8:13

You probably need to lay off the bitchiness.

Fender60_fml 6

Monday 9 December 2013 8:25

Nigga shut yo titts

SilentNightz 9

Monday 9 December 2013 8:09

Lose dem pounds.

EternalTime 7

Monday 9 December 2013 12:36

Good advice, I'm sure this never ran through his head

Lilxpie 18

Monday 9 December 2013 13:48

#60 - Her head you mean.

PunsY0 5

Monday 9 December 2013 8:09

4th

PunsY0 5

Monday 9 December 2013 8:10

*6th

whiteboy896 9

Monday 9 December 2013 8:11

And ill be the 1st to say, who cares?

wheres_waldo13 4

Monday 9 December 2013 8:10

lay off them twinkies

NessaMae 19

Monday 9 December 2013 8:11

This seems like a common problem considering the vast amount of FML's similar to this one lol.

xnyletak 17

Monday 9 December 2013 8:11

It's okay, OP. December is cold. 'Tis the season to gain some extra insulation.

Gingerette 8

Monday 9 December 2013 8:13

Heck yeah. I broke out my vat of walrus fat back in November.

xnyletak 17

Monday 9 December 2013 8:14

Thinking ahead! Good job!

awkwardturtl3 3

Monday 9 December 2013 8:11

they need glasses

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I agree, your life sucks 17 880

You deserved it 39 202

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I agree, your life sucks 18 619

You deserved it 59 127

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You deserved it 102

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I agree, your life sucks 17 383

You deserved it 50 952

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I agree, your life sucks 29 308

You deserved it 3 868

Today, on my first full day on Marine Corps boot camp, my drill instructor pulled me and another kid in front of 200 other recruits to vote on who was uglier between the two of us. I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 204

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I agree, your life sucks 3 916

You deserved it 1 028

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I agree, your life sucks 54 752

You deserved it 4 130