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It's okay, OP. December is cold. 'Tis the season to gain some extra insulation.

I had the opposite happen once, see I was shoplifting condoms and the owner caught me, looked at my face and let me go saying I couldn't possibly use them so I couldn't possibly be stealing em.

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No guts no glory

I had the opposite happen once, see I was shoplifting condoms and the owner caught me, looked at my face and let me go saying I couldn't possibly use them so I couldn't possibly be stealing em.

@1 you're comment is stupid when you consider the ops name

#1, I'm sure he hasn't considered that before…

Beast mode time.

I know right. It's his own fault

Lots of "him" "his" for a woman.

that's awful! D: it also reminds me of Family guy..

That was my first thought too

"I need an adult, I NEED AN ADULT!"

I need an adult! I need an adult!

Fyl, OP. I know the feeling. But that's ok! You're probably too fabulous anyway.

OP is probably PHAT, Pretty Hot And Tempting.

sick of fat being given Euphemisms...

80, I'm pretty sure you can't handle a real PHAT woman *hair flip*

U probably need to lay of the snacks, like cake.

You probably need to lay off the bitchiness.

Nigga shut yo titts

Good advice, I'm sure this never ran through his head

#60 - Her head you mean.

And ill be the 1st to say, who cares?

lay off them twinkies

This seems like a common problem considering the vast amount of FML's similar to this one lol.

It's okay, OP. December is cold. 'Tis the season to gain some extra insulation.

Heck yeah. I broke out my vat of walrus fat back in November.

Thinking ahead! Good job!

they need glasses