Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
WowLifeDoesSuck 0
Wow, kids are getting smarter.
mastercrammer 0
You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (862)
fmylife529 0
ur kid is awesome
Luna_LoveIsGood 0
smart kid. perhaps you should take this as a sign/fate
kingez77 0
damn. when that happens you know you have a problem.
Yaoi_Pocky 0
#378.
trapiadora 0
ha what a smart kid too bad shes to young to know that ,that aint gonna stop him. Its a nice try though.
Sucks2beYouxD 0
THINK ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER MANG!!
avalon24 18
Wow! We have a bunch of judgmental ones on this post! One, you don't know how much he does or doesn't drink. Kids are taught that alcohol is bad, period, any alcohol in any amount is wrong to them! Although he may very well be an alcoholic or someone who does drink too much and it is affecting his health and therefore DOES need to stop drinking and seek help, the daughter may also have been making assumptions based on what she learned at school or from other adults that don't approve of alcohol. My dad drank alcohol of some kind, usually a mixed drink, ONE sometimes two most evening when I was growing up, and at a very young age I thought that was ALOT, I thought that him drinking everyday (or almost everyday) ONE drink was a problem because SCHOOL taught me that! In all of my life I saw my dad drunk 3 times, all at social situations and only 1 of those times was he heavily drunk. So although for the kid to write notes leads one to believe he has a problem, you don't know the real story. I personally wouldn't post it if I WAS an alcoholic, but if I DIDN'T have a problem, I would have, thinking it was a very cute and sweet thing of her to do!
msstress 0
As a Teenager of an Alcoholic, and as one who grew up in 12 step meetings, I highly suggest A.) Get your ass to an AA meeting B.) Get your spouse to an Alanon meeting and C.) Get your kid to an Alateen meeting Growing up in Alateen I know kids as young as 4 who know theres a drinking problem with their parent. I started Alateen when I was 7, so your kid is at the right age. Your kid will be grateful, and easier to deal with after being in the program for a while. And, if you start going to meetings, you can learn to take care of yourself.
msstress 0
and #22, Alcoholism is not a weakness, it's a disease, if this is a case of true Alcoholism, this person is powerless.
jvaldez 0
wow that is brutal