Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, three policemen interrogated me and asked for ID, but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I work the night shift as a security officer. I packed my uniform and my stuff into one large bag and left for work. When I arrived, I realized that I'd left something important at home, so guess what it was? My security pass and it was almost 5 minutes before my shift started. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, after softball practice, I could not find my car keys. Emptied my bag completely, no keys. Called a locksmith but he never showed up. Walked across the street to ask the fire department if they could help. After they got into my car, I found them. In my bag. Caught in my scorebook. The fireman just laughed. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML
Today, I showed up to an important meeting 20 minutes late, claiming I couldn't find my keys. They were in my hand the whole time, and I realized it just as I reached for the doorknob. Everyone saw me pause mid-step, staring at my hand in disbelief. FML
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Top comments
ThirstyGrunt 6
How do you.NOT deserve this ?
a1f0sff 25
That's hilarious! I would have loved to see your face when he pointed that out...
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Comments (100)
DDCA 24
Did you ask him to retreive the brain you left in the classroom? At least start off by say "Today, I was so high that..."
LuisM104 11
AHAHAHAHAHA.-.
ulissey_fml 22
Wtith such brain power your ad-mittance to the MIT is a sure thing. Security was cool: he could have said "pick y'er mitt" and frogmarched you to the exit door.
CheeseHater 23
It's funny because you're an idiot.
Lionesse 15
I'm not gonna judge you. That happens. Sometimes you are so caught up in something you forget a shit load of other things. I freaked out because I couldn't in my phone when I was using it. Don't make it a habit though, that's when people start to think you're a dumbass.
Satoaoi 13
hilarious indeed. it happens to many people. whether it be with mittens or glasses keys etc. also mittens!!! I haven't heard that in forever didn't think people still used it
asb818 14
You should have played it off and told him you had to borrow the ones you were wearing until you could retrieve your own. Then once inside the room look frantically for them and pronounce that someone must have taken them.
reeses1981 10
Our future, ladies and gentlemen!!
Kingbreezy04 10
I would hate to be anywhere around you if a real crisis happened. You called security for some damn mittens? I would love to see what you would do if you left a hat somewhere.
AnyaS 19
So many people comment how this (on a smaller scale) happens to them... usually with a cell phone or glasses. Is it weird I've never had this happen to me?