Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, three policemen interrogated me and asked for ID, but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I work the night shift as a security officer. I packed my uniform and my stuff into one large bag and left for work. When I arrived, I realized that I'd left something important at home, so guess what it was? My security pass and it was almost 5 minutes before my shift started. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, after softball practice, I could not find my car keys. Emptied my bag completely, no keys. Called a locksmith but he never showed up. Walked across the street to ask the fire department if they could help. After they got into my car, I found them. In my bag. Caught in my scorebook. The fireman just laughed. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML
Today, I showed up to an important meeting 20 minutes late, claiming I couldn't find my keys. They were in my hand the whole time, and I realized it just as I reached for the doorknob. Everyone saw me pause mid-step, staring at my hand in disbelief. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
ThirstyGrunt 6
How do you.NOT deserve this ?
a1f0sff 25
That's hilarious! I would have loved to see your face when he pointed that out...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
Screwie 25
Check around when you lose something before wasting people's time! C'mon how were you so distracted to do that?
lyssa13bell 15
Intelligence at its finest!
Enslaved 36
You silly little kitten. You never lost your mittens. Now stop acting like you're high!
lyssa13bell 15
I think them being high is the only acceptable reason as to why this would happen!! Haha
outoftown 26
Or seriously sleep-deprived.
krakhd 15
ha ha
eaglerob 20
Don't feel bad, I used to do that with my glasses all the time before I got LASIK.
hannaaaahr 33
I actually once woke up thinking that my sight had magically improved, until I realized that I had simply fallen asleep wearing my contacts.
maz95 17
Haha that really must've been an embarrassing moment. If I was that security officer, I'd be really pissed off!
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Maybe you have anger issues, I don't see having to walk down the hall and witness a funny situation as something to be pissed off over.. ;)
maz95 17
I'd still find it annoying having to go over just to get someone to realise that they were wearing what they wanted me to get out of the room...or maybe that is just me.
hienzburgess 9
Has happened to me a few times, I'm sure almost everyone has forgotten something that was in their hand.... but to OP's extent... not so sure.
GarageDragon 22
Happens to everyone. Blonde moments.
Jiinxx 8
brainfart/10
AlexJones44 9
You sir are a fucktard very disgusted!!
DanielleinDC 33
And you are a moron who can't punctuate properly. Everyone has brain fart moments. But really, OP, YDI.