Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML
Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, I got a call from my mom's new husband. It lasted 3 minutes and those 3 minutes were of him telling me how sad I make my mom for just existing, how jealous I make her because I'm living a life she wished she was. Turns out, she told him to call me and say that because I have her blocked. FML
Today, I called my mother to say hi. She spent a whole hour and a half complaining about how I never call her, bawling and calling me "a waste of human flesh." I call her at least once a week. FML
Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML
Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML
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Top comments
3dollarbill 0
So did you leave a message or what?
Mirorbo 27
Such a lovely mother you have, darling...
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Comments (130)
MissBrainDamage 0
If it's the same Sophie I know (whose moms name is Jackie not Joyce but close!) then she totally deserves it. YDI OP
MissBrainDamage 0
lol Sophies such a bitch I had to say it 5 times.
hockeyrocks39 0
Sounds like Mom got into the Vodka again.
Badshah29 6
lol ur probably better off. sensitive moms can be a bother :/
DeadxManxWalking 27
you sure it isn't another Sophie? and if not why is your mother hating you?
chevygirl2004 0
sounds like my mom. me and that psycho bitch don't talk anymore either. its 1 thing to be mad at you but its ridiculously childish to put that on her voicemail for whoever calls her to hear.
sarah_bear2010 3
that's how my mom and I are. except she puts everything on Facebook...
docscientist 10
Is there another Sophie? I'm not sure why she wouldn't refer to you as her daughter...unless she disowned you.
Fr3nChii 0
wooooowww! I laughed at this one...it's ether your mom doesn't like you (hehe) because you did something to her or your mother is just an evil bitch?
yaneliz1994 16
wow w.e u did ur gonna have to fix up and make sure it dsnt happen again cuz for ur mom to say dat u did somethin rlly bad or she is bein over dramatic
Flutist 3
"Wow, whatever you did you're going to have to fix it and make sure it doesn't happen again. For your mom to say that you did something really bad... or she is being over-dramatic."
hoopla12345 0
like ^
logo79 0
i suggest u change ur name and then call back