Health: Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's...

By angelamegan21 - 28/05/2014 20:33 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 597

You deserved it 6 114

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 685

You deserved it 27 519

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 495

You deserved it 6 973

By ouchmytits - 28/03/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 756

You deserved it 4 589

It's lit

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 00:01

Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 136

By roadbikemama - 25/10/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 281

You deserved it 11 139

Fried

By RandomLG94 - 31/10/2015 20:35 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago, a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill, causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 049

You deserved it 1 581

By heheheh - 22/08/2011 06:43 - Canada

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 985

You deserved it 57 750

By jcdc - 20/05/2012 15:03 - United States - Georgetown

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 423

You deserved it 8 833

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 497

You deserved it 9 626

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 010

You deserved it 7 982

toxicsauce 10

Thursday 29 May 2014 8:42

At least you've got people telling you you're hot. I'm not even close to that... Lmao

sweetest_jenn 18

Thursday 29 May 2014 8:52

Everyone knows the best breasts are deep fried.

Comments

martin8337 35

Friday 30 May 2014 0:31

I love hot ****.

pitapizzaparty 18

Friday 30 May 2014 0:55

Tell them ur "part" dragon

mufasaniqqa 13

Friday 30 May 2014 5:16

#38 no.

Lexipants 21

Friday 30 May 2014 6:03

Been there, done that. Mottled red boob, go!

doodlebug33 20

Friday 30 May 2014 7:43

How's your boob now? Keep us abreast

9eberra1 6

Friday 30 May 2014 7:54

Like Katie perry making pop tarts :D

martin8337 35

Friday 30 May 2014 13:59

Original or extra crispy?

llamaslikesoda 21

Friday 30 May 2014 17:45

That's hot. God breast you.

viva_la_blondes 15

Friday 30 May 2014 21:55

Idk, seems to me like it would be a lot easier to just laugh it off, wouldn tit?

Rallybear_123 5

Friday 30 May 2014 22:26

That's hilarious. Embrace it!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I got marinara sauce on my new white shirt. I went in my desk for my Tide-To-Go pen and started using it on the spot. Turns out orange highlighters look a lot like Tide-To-Go pens when you don't look closely enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 588

You deserved it 50 596

Today, I had the best time of my life with the girl of my dreams. I took her out to lunch, we went to the beach to jetski and had a romantic walk. It was the perfect day. Then, in the evening, I had to go home to my boring wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 657

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 680

You deserved it 3 139

Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 206

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 361

You deserved it 8 931

Today, I learned that all the caffeine my body can handle and boundless energy will not stop me from yawning. Thirty times in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 148

Same thing different taste

It's lit

Fried

Top comments

Comments