Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was excited because her uncle was coming for a visit. She started telling me stories about him, and the more she talked, the worse it got. I’m fairly certain uncle is a cult leader, and that my girlfriend was born into and brainwashed by a cult that got shut down by the police. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML
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Top comments
deviable 9
If the Illuminati are gonna take over, at least your grandpa will be the most prepared.
ohmandapants 17
Listen to grandpa he is old and wise. You'll be sorry when that shit happens and you didn't take him seriously. And in any case, this shouldn't affect her opinion of YOU personally...
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Comments (139)
WyKeD 0
lmfao!! grandpa sounds like a cool dude (: lol
macdaddymady 8
Illuminati is real, and it's so obvious..
Shrike 24
Look forgive me but I'm not really going to take the word and rumor and hearsay of a 17 year old scene poser over my own research on this shit. Grow up and quit desperately wishing people cared enough to wanna control your whole life like that.
soccersox 0
Wow ur grandpas been playing some deus ex :P almost exactly what happens
mesyoup3zY 0
Well... It's true
BlAzEtHiS 0
I have a father in law that does that same shit. It gets really old really fast.
Shankillbutcher 0
Illuminati dont **** around!! Hell the grandpa was a member before they kicked his crazy ass out. xD
Khybershell 5
Well, here's hoping she won't judge you poorly for his paranoia.
thatgirlyesii 0
Your grandpa is bad ass .. nuff said :D
OfficeNinja 5
I thought that was the majority view in Texas! She probably agreed.
lifes_a_b1tch 7
The Illuminati have been running the world for hundreds of years. I think Grandpa is more same than OP or the girlfriend.
lifes_a_b1tch 7
Sane even...damn autocorrect...