Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML
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Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
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Top comments
enchi999 8
Should've asked him to repeat himself
tatsmcgrath 4
Why would your dad even say that? That makes things akward!
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Comments (123)
ktizzley2k 8
You shouldn't respond to things you "didn't quite catch".
hqbrat 8
And it's disrespectful that's his girl friend... Well at least she was..
SamanthaCassieL 10
Wow, she does NOT have a sense of humor. I would totally laugh that off and come back with something, you don't need her! Find a girl who can laugh at that stuff. If you truly aren't with her just for sex, she should know and behave as such.
aimee910 11
Never agree to anything you don't fully hear.
Airman1988 9
31 you kind of look like Avril Lavagne
aimee910 11
That's the second time you've replied that to one of my comments.
Airman1988 9
Sorry I didn't think the last went through, in that one pic I thought the similarity was uncanny tho lol
beccax33 4
Aw. That really does suck
aleeshttylXD 9
troll dad strikes again!
bmkc4 1
You should always get the whole story before commenting
RedPillSucks 33
Dads, performing birth control one sick comment at a time since 1721.
downtime 13
Does that mean in 1720 there was an annual meeting of the fathers where they discussed what to do about the increasing issue of teenage promiscuity? Or was it just an evolutionary leap...:P
BubbleGrunge 18
"slam-piece?" Oh shit, I love that so much!!
xxGhost_Wolfxx 2
But what I don't understand, is why saying that would infer that he was born without his parents being married.
xxGhost_Wolfxx 2
I think it still is funny. Maybe you just were born without a sense of humor. It's becoming quite popular now-adays.