Encourage your kids, damn asshats!

By The bassist - 17/05/2021 04:01

Today, months after buying my first bass guitar and taking bass lessons using my own money, I realized that my parents refused to buy me an instrument, claiming that I sucked at it. What actually happened is that they didn't feel like paying for some "teenage bullshit." FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 785
You deserved it 143

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Your parents obviously need to step back and reevaluate how they've decided to nurture their kids. As parents, we're supposed to help guide and encourage our children to try their best and reach for their goals-- and if they fail, we catch them and help them achieve whatever their next goal may be. Obviously, no one has ever done that for them and now they're too stuck in their bitter "adult bullshit" to actually support you. Sorry, OP, it's never too late to learn though. Once you can secure your own finances, buy your own instrument and keep at it!

So, get a job and buy your own. It's your parents job to provide clothing, shelter, food, and access to education. It is not their obligation to buy you expensive toys just because you want them.

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Your parents obviously need to step back and reevaluate how they've decided to nurture their kids. As parents, we're supposed to help guide and encourage our children to try their best and reach for their goals-- and if they fail, we catch them and help them achieve whatever their next goal may be. Obviously, no one has ever done that for them and now they're too stuck in their bitter "adult bullshit" to actually support you. Sorry, OP, it's never too late to learn though. Once you can secure your own finances, buy your own instrument and keep at it!

Whilst they should have encouraged OP, maybe they are struggling and can't afford it?

While I understand that, that's when you're honest. I wouldn't tell my son, "I'm not buying you that because you suck." It's demeaning for no reason? If I couldn't afford it, which has happened when hours have been cut or similar, I've just told him that, "We can't afford things like that right now. Maybe another time but right now we have more important things to pay for like our house and food." And usually he understands and either forgets about it, or waits until we can. You also usually have the option to rent instruments before buying.

Maybe they couldn't afford it and didn't want to actually say that. Maybe the o.p. ISN'T a good musician, and the parents know that andcl want to stear him in a different direction. Sometimes good, wise parental guidance means saying no. My boys are highly intelligent and will end up in engineering or science fields. But they aren't good musicians or singers. Ifvthey told me they wanted to pursue carerrs in music,, I'd be honest and tell them that they aren't suited for that field. My daughter is a talented singer, song writer, dancer, and choreographer. But she's terrible at math and science. I know their talents and weaknesses. I guide them accordingly. I don't believe in the "You can be whatever you want to be if you just work hard enough," bologna. Because it's not true. No matter how hard I worked, I would never have been able to be a chemist or physicist. my brain just isn't wired for that. I'm going to law school, because that's what I'm good at.

That's all fine and dandy, but you also don't criticize and demean them and if you do, I'm sorry, but you're not a good parent. My son wanted to be a YouTuber, unrealistic, but he's smart and loves games-- amazing at math and science. So I said while I don't mind him trying a channel when he's older, the compromise is his grades don't slip and he has an actual career goal in mind. He wants to become a game developer, and I'm allowed to encourage that. I think he could be an amazing one. However, he isn't great at reading, but I'm not going to tell him not to try? It's my strong suit so I take the time to teach him. Idc how out of their element it is, you don't degrade your kids for it. And if you can't be honest with your kids, that's just sad. That being said, it's okay to tell your kids no, I'm actually strict myself, but you don't balantly insult them in the process. "I want to be a singer!" "I don't think it's a realistic goal/or I don't think it's a good field for you" is very different than "You sing like horse shit and you're not good enough." or "You suck, we're not wasting our time on your bullshit." That's all I have to say on the subject.

@SM79, who mentioned anything about a career? Do you only consider enjoyable things worthwhile if you're able to profit from them? Also if someone is genuinely interested in something you can take it as a pretty safe bet that they'll end up learning fast. You can't judge what someone is good at before they've had a decent chance to at least try.

You already have a guitar, why do they need to buy you one?

So, get a job and buy your own. It's your parents job to provide clothing, shelter, food, and access to education. It is not their obligation to buy you expensive toys just because you want them.

Fuck your parents and keep at it, my guy. As a self-taught bassist of 16 years myself, I can say with all truth that dedication and perseverance will be your biggest tools for learning to play.

Uhm, EVERYONE sucks at something they haven't worked on and practiced at? That was a BS excuse they threw at OP.

And so you paid for it yourself.