Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML
Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML
Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML
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Top comments
wavesofblue 1
$20 isn't expensive...
Rico255 0
mabey shit is good for the skin also??? worked great on my lawn
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Comments (221)
Alesana_Love 0
Your face has dirty rompers!!! Hahahaha
Bstaut 8
it's only $20. it's not that huge of a deal.
dark49 0
something smells fishy. or shitty
A_50cal_goes 0
BOOM Headshot!!!
sertralinaa 2
Big deal...
perdix 31
Dummy! You could have put an ad on Craigslist and found some scat freak who would PAY you to give you a Dirty Sanchez. Also, that warm, locally-grown organic shit is so much better for your skin than that factory-processed shit.
w2z1 0
Now imagine a red shitty face, that would suck.
fmlwinnn 0
you didn't open it and smell it at the store first? I do that with perfume and deodorant and all that.
PhantomJen 0
Considering that most really nice moisturizers cost over $50, and sometimes even over $100, $20 is cheap.
nerdsgetmehot 23
I can't believe someone would pay $50 for a moisturizer, let alone $100... :/
Griggy 0
That's the price you pay for your vanity.