Miscellaneous: Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out...

By SenescentSouthernBoy - 17/08/2009 08:42 - United States

Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 479

You deserved it 60 782

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Same thing different taste

By truth - 10/02/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 305

You deserved it 2 187

By Melinie - 24/06/2012 03:23 - United States

Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 639

You deserved it 1 903

By me. - 12/11/2012 04:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 118

You deserved it 1 727

By uppiskalle - 12/09/2014 14:32 - United States - Riverside

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 570

You deserved it 45 712

By Anonymous - 28/05/2016 23:05 - Netherlands

Today, my brother "borrowed" my car and keys without asking me. He came back 4 hours later, alone and pale faced. It took half an hour of questions, interrogation, and finally threats before he admitted that my car is sitting in a ditch a few miles away, probably totaled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 275

You deserved it 887

By fire0fisis - 03/02/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 105

You deserved it 2 315

By dgilbs - 27/08/2012 14:50 - United States - Cheboygan

Today, I finished my shopping at Costco, and realized I had forgotten where I had parked. After scouring the parking lot for 20 minutes, I called the police and filed a report for a stolen vehicle. I then remembered I had bought a new car yesterday and parked it right next to the entrance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 024

You deserved it 37 902

Classic case of the Mondays

By Anonymous - 06/05/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I took the bus after work. When I got to the remote parking lot, I realized my car had been stolen so I called the police to report it. When they came to take a statement and asked me when was the last time I saw my car was, I replied, “This morning, when I drove it to wo… Oh.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 535

By snowbunny - 12/02/2010 02:14 - United States

Today, I bundled up to shovel my car out of almost 2 feet of snow, only to find my car was gone. I ran into the nearby police station to report my stolen car. The policeman trudged down with me to get a report. I had parked my car on the other side of the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 347

You deserved it 31 505

Confess!

By hitandrun - 10/08/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 222

You deserved it 76 089

hihihi002 0

Monday 17 August 2009 16:26

you suck.

jlynn91 0

Monday 17 August 2009 16:33

YDI for using the phrase "find the car stolen". Impossible.

Comments

CuttingTheHam 0

Friday 20 August 2010 14:08

EPIC FAIL!!!!

luvzit 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 11:17

lol major blonde moment I hope ur blonde

TourmentBook2 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 16:25

These comments are very unessacrly mean, grow up assholes he made a mistake and you don't even know him so leave him alone god man

kotabones 0

Tuesday 7 February 2012 3:10

Look between your legs. Yes that's a ****** not a penis. What looks like a penis is just an optical illusion

babe7260 30

Monday 2 April 2012 15:53

Lol TOO funny!!!! At least they found it!!!

kamareaux 24

Friday 21 December 2012 11:40

Wow sounds like something my my mom would do.

unlucky_lucy 17

Saturday 24 August 2013 0:57

Wow that's amazing! You don't see that amount of stupidity in one person very often

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 17

Today, my farm dog and I are spending the weekend in an urban area. She won't poop on concrete, so I directed her to a nice two-foot tall grassy median. As she vaulted up onto the median, two turds shot out of her ass and plopped right on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 818

You deserved it 431

The Top

Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 729

You deserved it 4 654

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 798

You deserved it 2 132

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 151

You deserved it 2 387

Today, I worked 4 hours for a huge mail call to get all the troops their Christmas mail. And just like every other mail call I did not receive one package or letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 2 510

Today, I learned what the phrase "Never trust a far", is all about. I spent several minutes trying to wash my filthy underwear in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 330

Today, I requested to have my own room at a hotel instead of sharing with everyone else, and I was called an inconsiderate diva. The reason is that after eating anything, my stomach makes such loud and disgusting noises that no one would be able to sleep, but I’m too embarrassed to say that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 175

Same thing different taste

Classic case of the Mondays

Confess!

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