Work, Weird and Coworkers: Not the brightest bulb

Not the brightest bulb

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 03:00

Today, I found out that a female colleague thinks that because I got a vasectomy, I "got my balls chopped off." Then again, this woman also believes the cracks in her front brick fence are because her house is built on the equator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 110

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 494

You deserved it 3 967

Selfish

By Anonymous - 31/01/2020 18:00

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 000

You deserved it 479

By Anonymous - 15/09/2009 18:18 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 60 503

You deserved it 3 993

TMI

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 21:59 - United States - Crystal City

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 111

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 92

By Anonymous - 23/11/2011 09:36 - United States

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 602

You deserved it 5 192

Mystery

By Anonymous - 17/07/2016 14:51 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy several years ago. I've been faithful the whole time, but he wouldn't believe me, even after I showed him that vasectomies can reverse themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 813

You deserved it 1 981

By Rick - 28/07/2011 10:51 - United States

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 942

You deserved it 5 232

By Anonymous - 23/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Cypress

Today, my mother-in-law threw bricks at my car. Her defense? I shouldn't have parked in her brick throwing spot, in my own driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 779

You deserved it 458

By what have i done with my life - 21/07/2013 17:46 - United States - Akron

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 646

You deserved it 6 022

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 26 July 2023 5:25

Well, with one side of the fence being in summer and the other in winter, I'm sure thermal expansion plays havoc with masonry!

Nikki 17

Wednesday 26 July 2023 4:08

Are you sure she’s not joking? I talk about vasectomies the same way but I’ve also assisted in many and know exactly how they work

Comments

Nikki 17

Wednesday 26 July 2023 4:08

Are you sure she’s not joking? I talk about vasectomies the same way but I’ve also assisted in many and know exactly how they work

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 26 July 2023 5:25

Well, with one side of the fence being in summer and the other in winter, I'm sure thermal expansion plays havoc with masonry!

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 655

You deserved it 532

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 351

The Top

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 504

You deserved it 3 419

Today, I accidentally bought an audio book through iBooks for $40 AUD. I'm deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 561

You deserved it 477

Today, I worked a full day and then went to a three-hour class. I got home at 9 PM, and before the door closed I heard, "There's a sink full of dishes for you." There are three able-bodied men in the house, all of whom got here hours ago and created that sink full of dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 899

You deserved it 4 730

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 943

You deserved it 3 127

Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 2 198

Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 406

You deserved it 6 734