Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, my husband won’t have sex with me anymore because he can’t be bothered. That’s been his excuse for almost three weeks, but he insists there’s nothing wrong, he just doesn’t want to. For reference, we had sex almost every day before this, so this is very abnormal behavior. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, my husband has lost over a hundred pounds. I'm happy for him, but now he has an incredibly high sex drive and keeps asking for sex almost every day, sometimes twice a day. FML
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Top comments
denvan 0
He must have one strong hand shake
WallyTheWombat 0
So I'm not too sure how this is played out. If he masturbates every day that they don't have sex... is it that they don't have sex cause he masturbated? or that he masturbated because op won't have sex with him? If 1: 1) Try to get to him first. if 2: 2) Quit complaining and sleep with your husband!
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Comments (145)
emariebake 0
I hope that is sarcasm.
metfanatic1986 0
kill him
annihil8or 15
Hes gonna have carpel tunnel soon, but u know the fix. And any married guy who prefers hand over hittin that has issues
missmaryb 0
That's his way of telling you to start having sex with him. Sounds like he gave up trying some time ago.
popsvb01 9
you both are aware that you can Jack it/have sex more than once in a day right?
fizzypop14 3
take some initiative then? tell him you want to have sex. he won't say no
Jmo247 1
you must have never had sex before bc no regular person would say that
soldiercarter 0
Stop bitching and give him some ass
teameminem 2
Your comments are brutal. I'm beginning to think that you have the fear of anything sexual. Sex isn't important? None of us would be alive without sex, so sex is a necessity for human survival. Think again before you comment something like that.
zRoDenTz 0
have sex with him. not just once, but enough to keep him from having to get off some other way. its your fault