Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML

Smooth talkin' dude

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

Small comforts

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML

Thanks, honey.

Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

A little higher, dude

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

Spoiled the mood

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML