Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend, who’s a massage therapist, if he could help my mom with her chronic migraines by massaging her head and neck. My dad came home, saw them in the dimly lit room and knocked my boyfriend out cold for "touching his woman." My boyfriend dumped me and wants my dad arrested. FML
Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
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Top comments
greeneye_fml 12
Cockblocked by Richard Simmons.
SkoomaKi 28
Troll dad always wins! Unless put against Troll mom.
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Comments (184)
kkillaj 5
That's disgusting
joshuadavid 0
That's awesome!
davek 36
Masterful trolling!
Mercified 4
I'm thinking of family guy "hey, are you Richard Simmons?" "Peter no!!"
LadyEmi 15
Haha what a bitch tell her she needs to get over herself
mechanicgirl315 0
Dang that sucks
thisguyian 8
Hahahaha your dad is awesome...I'd buy that guy a beer.
goose12321 11
BAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA thats hilarious
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Well at least you asked your dad if it was okay instead of sneaking her in. But still, did you really expect him to just let you have a quickie in HIS house? Funny way of getting you cockblocked, but I fail to see why the posters would bother her. I mean, they're just posters. Take them down.
kalbrek009 20
NEVER, underestimate the power of GOOD parenting! YDI for thinking you could have a "quickie", much less underage sex in a house that is not yours!
charmanderCHAR 5
You're a ******* idiot, and I'm going to tell you why. You are simply assuming that OP is underage. I'm sorry (no I'm not), but where in the Hell does it say he is any younger than the age of consent? What, just because OP asked if he could bring his girl over automatically means he's under the age of 17? I know full-grown men that still live with their parents, because it is cheaper. So shut your ******* narcissistic mouth.