Love: Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top... - FML

By lucky - 31/03/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 144

You deserved it 17 913

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Same thing different taste

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 1 257

MILF Manor

By daughter - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Vårgårda

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 263

You deserved it 2 387

By Noname - 06/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 658

You deserved it 18 560

Mama Bear

By Ally - 19/05/2022 16:00

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. We've been dating for almost 5 months and are extremely in love. His mom basically said to me, "I want what’s best for my son and you aren’t it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 18:00

Today, I now have been dumped by 4 serious girlfriends in the last 5 years, each of them for the same reason: Being with me would have meant dealing with my mother who, without fail, asked each of them when we planned on marrying and having kids, every single week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 256

You deserved it 600

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 06:06 - United States - Friendswood

Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 345

You deserved it 2 252

Brutally honest

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 975

You deserved it 2 927

By koolkat9 - 22/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Albion

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 056

You deserved it 3 317

By Embarrassed - 22/08/2013 04:40 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 827

You deserved it 4 353

Bisexual!

By Anonymous - 25/11/2019 14:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 785

You deserved it 283

Next

Top comments

loveandzombies 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:34

Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer....

poopooface 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:35

Why would you ask that in the first place? ... as if you wanted to know who the other 4 people where.

Comments

h8crewdeathr0ll 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 8:20

can i **** your mom?

fml911 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 7:06

haha i agree with 45 :P! thats funny, but dont ask if u cant handle the answer.. do we wanna no who number one was LOL .. thats kinda rude but whatever :P

red_wings 0

Monday 6 April 2009 18:58

This has prolly been said but... 1. Don't ask things you don't know the answer to 2. Don't ask things you CAN'T handle the answers too 3. At least your mom's a MILF....which means you possible have good genes

yesbutnotyou 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:09

#14 FOR THE WIN!!!

earwig12 1

Sunday 19 April 2009 2:32

YDI - I wouldn't have answered a question like that seriously; you have to expect your mom to show up there. Also, #9, just because someone's significant other isn't the person they want to **** the most doesn't mean they don't want to **** them. There are, believe it or not, more than five people in the world who any given person wants to ****. All this means is that he is with his wife for (gasp!) reasons other than finding her the MOST attractive. For most people, marriage is about fitting well personality-wise with another person, not being the best sexual partner there is. If you don't inherently understand this, then I can understand #20's comments perfectly.

eaglesfan761 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 0:50

at least you were on there. lolol. that does suck to not be #1 though.

exile529 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 1:07

hahahah

rclarissa 0

Friday 5 June 2009 17:06

What is up with this mother ******* want sex with ur mom that's just stupid FYL

buckeye91011 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 7:21

Haha at least he'll be willing to meet his mother-in-law

chilechick108 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 19:44

why would you ask something like that??

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The Top

The Top

Today, my friends and I were hanging out when we thought it would be cool to set off a few fireworks. Nothing burns quite like the hair on the left side of your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 311

You deserved it 40 541

Today, I went to the toilet during drama class, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 898

You deserved it 47 647

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 348

You deserved it 3 051

Today, I went on a camping trip with my friends, but forgot to bring sunscreen. I spent the entire day outside and ended up with a severe sunburn all over my body. The pain is unbearable and I can't even move without yelping as if I was slowly being cooked in an air fryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 948

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 942

You deserved it 5 509

Today, you might know that anxiety before an extremely important exam: sweating, shaking, heart palpitations, tension headache… That’s how I felt this morning when I got into my car… to pick up a free mattress I scored on the internet. Guess my adrenal glands were bored and decided to have a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 119