Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
Today, while cooking dinner, I managed to set my oven mitt on fire. In my panic, I tried to throw it in the sink, but it landed on a stack of t-shirts, which were lying on the counter. Both the mitt and my favorite Sonic Youth t-shirt now have matching burn holes. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
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Top comments
jennawill10 10
Hopefully thatll be a story you can tell your kids someday ;)
sassypenguinxox 15
Wow you're so smooth, you're smoking hot
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Comments (139)
jerseyboy732 16
Stop, drop, and roll
kickuwithmyfist 1
You should of been like "Flame on!!!" yeahh like a bad ass!
cherry26272627 6
.
cherry26272627 6
Sorry someone already put the comment I was going to write and I couldn't delete it...
Amrel 10
Sorry i though were were having a punctuation war
ChaosAngel17 14
Touch that hot body?
kiiouex 3
Why do people try to be cool. It always ends in fire.
Amrel 10
The only thing to put out the "cool" wouldve been a fire.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Not sure how you did that. A stove and a table dont really look that much alike.
I_Punch_Babies 7
HARA KIRI!!!
ThecomingofTan 9
Stoves are the worst wing men.
AlwaysCracked 6
*note to self: do not light friend on fire when being his wingman*
link1042 0
It would have been funnier if you stood there and tried to play it off nonchalantly ignoring the rising flames.
scarpicide 5
Yeah, you have to watch out for those.
ShadowsEcho 1
Ouch. Well that's hot. If it helps she probably thought it was funny. If you'd left her some way to contact you I'm sure she will. Girls love funny guys :P