Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years-old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML
Today, I'm so hopelessly lonely that I've agreed to meet up with my ex for some semblance of friendship. FML
Today, I'm a 19 year-old college student in NYC, it's Friday night and I'm sitting alone on my bed in my dorm room, talking to my mother on Facebook. Then she stopped responding. Turns out even my mother has better things to do on Friday night. FML
Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML
Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML
Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML
Today, a friend of mine came to my house with tears in her eyes. I thought she was finally single so I could ask her out. Actually, her mother found out she was dating a girl, so she wants me to be her fake boyfriend as a cover-up. At least we're "dating" now. FML
Today, my mom friended all my friends on Facebook then thought it'd be a good idea to try and act like a teen so she'd be considered 'cool'. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Some of the best relationships start as friendships in the sandbox throwing sand in each other's faces and screaming "No, YOU are a poopyhead!" Don't forget to put on a clean diaper first, and bring an extra juice box for her. Chicks dig that. Good luck.
cryssycakesx3 23
people are always friends with someone that has cool toys...
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Comments (127)
PearceIsFallen 6
Wow, I'm sorry OP. Try to work on how shy you are, maybe it'll help.
PikaFruit 6
At least your parents care enough about you to do that
livelovelaugh05 1
that sucks
nick3600 22
I've been there man